Sobriety For Couples

Okay, y’all I’ve got a riddle for you

…what do you get when you send an alcoholic who CAN’T drink to the store to get beer?

 I’ll tell you a little story while you ponder that one….

 My mister really likes to drink but has been doing fairly well controlling himself while I CAN’T drink. What I mean by I CAN’T is that with my Scram, I don’t even have a choice. I can have all the cravings I want, but  giving in is NOT even an option. Will power has absolutely nothing to do with it. I just know that I CANNOT drink alcohol. My mister is really trying to be supportive. Well, Thursday night he lost control and drank LOTS. I’ll spare you the dirty details, both for your sake and to protect his “innocence”. After all, I chose to air my dirty laundry to you, he didn’t.

To see someone that I love so much fall into the grips of my biggest demon – alcohol – and lose all control made me despise the stuff. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs “ALCOHOL, GET OUT OF MY LIIIFFFEEEE!!!” I wanted to yell into eternity “ALCOHOL, QUIT COMPLICATING MY LIFE!!!” To see the way that alcohol changes and manipulates one’s personality is frightening and eye opening into my own behaviors of addiction. How could this stuff change someone I love so much so drastically? Does my personality change this much when I am drinking?? (I already know the answer to that question….) It definitely gives me any additional reason I may have needed to solidify my commitment to indefinite sobriety….even though I know it will be hard.

 The next morning (that would be Friday), when he was at work feeling less than perky, my mister told me that he’s thinking about giving up drinking for a while…..music to my ears!! Great idea!!! Hooray!!! All the praying I did Thursday night for him just to pass out had paid off! (My mister gets awfully chatty when he drinks…definitely one thing we have in common!)

Would you believe he even took the keys, got in the car, and was going to drive somewhere?? I was absolutely stunned. After all that we’ve been through, living with me being on Scram, the Walk Like MADD, seeing all of those families who lost loved ones to drunk driving, seeing how such a BAD choice negatively impacted my/our lives and SO many other lives….HOW COULD HE!! I felt like he’d just slapped me in the face. What was he thinking? He wasn’t. As it turns out, he never left the driveway. He obviously had some speck of sense left in his foggy state of mind. When my mister decided to leave the house, our son and I were chatting, talking about how ridiculous this situation was. I saw my opportunity and I TOOK IT! (Of course this was only after I knew my mister was in the driveway, not going anywhere, not going to harm anyone)

Our son is getting ready to turn 21 years old in September and I knew this was my prime opportunity to do my best momma naggin’, finger waggin’ and I seized it…..I said to him just what my mom said to me when I was his age, only I had his dad right there to say  ”SEE? See? He clearly has a problem and you could easily have the same one.” I told him that when he turns 21, if he chooses to have alcohol in his life, he needs to be SO careful and cognizant that it could get out of control. I hope he is learning some very valuable lessons. The issue of alcohol, alcoholism, drunk driving, and consequences is an IN YOUR FACE subject in our household EVERY SINGLE DAY right now and will continue to be as long as Scrammy is with me. It has to be. It has changed my daily life. It effects everything I do. It’s more than just an “I can’t drink alcohol” type of situation. Our son hears me call Pecharelyse at the Sheriff’s Office daily, he hears me call my lovely Gabriele to ask her to please charge me another $300 each month, he sees us trying to replace a vehicle. I hope and pray that he makes better decisions than his dad and I have.

Hmmm, I sound like a real parent, huh? WOW! (I love him so much! Have I mentioned that I think he is awesome?)

So, in an effort to come crawling out of the dog house, my mister suggested Friday night date night, which we usually do anyway but this time he had it all planned out. It is my favorite time of the week! We went to dinner and then saw Dark Shadows

…..Johnny Depp AND my dreamboat mister in the same room for 2 hours! It was awesome. (Sorry if you just puked a little in your mouth. I try not to be too sappy.) And do you see Scrammy peeking out the bottom of my dress? Still wearing the palm tree!

The movie theater wasn’t full, which was surprising….especially for a Friday night….so we were able to be “those people” who prop their feet up on the back of the chair in front of them. It was nice and comfy. During my days of drinking, I would have had lots to drink with dinner, and then passed out in the movie theater. It’s not so bad until I start to snore and have to be woken up.

We had a wonderful date, which was a great start to Mother’s Day weekend!

Then it happened….yesterday (Saturday). I was out doing some errands and my mister calls to ask if I will pick up some beer for the weekend. My heart sank and I felt really disappointed. What happened to his trial sobriety? I could identify because I’ve been there..I mean, haven’t we all? The hangover is gone, you have an ounce of your pride back, and it’s time to drink again! Yup, been there. It is a vicious cycle I know too well…..until Scrammy happened to me. Yet another reason Scrammy is one of the best things that has happened to me. I seriously doubt that without Scrammy, I’d have had the willpower to get 6 months of sobriety under my belt. I’m not there yet, but by the time Scrammy and I have to say farewell to each other, I will have 6 months sobriety! I plan to continue that sobriety and I hope that my mister will give some thought to his own drinking habits. He definitely has more control than I do, but he also likes to enjoy a drink or several from time to time.

After I got my mister’s request, I was disappointed and then angry. I didn’t want to get the beer he was asking for. I don’t want a repeat of Thursday night. A relapse already??? I mean, no judgements, I’ve been there, but REALLY??? Are you freaking kidding me? He almost DROVE the car in that state of mind!!! And now he wants to get back to drinking??

So….back to my riddle! Can you see where this is going? Have you figured it out? Do you think you know what you get when you send an alcoholic who CAN’T drink to the store for beer???

Wait for it….

wait for it…..

Are you ready to see what I brought home??? Any guesses?

Here we go….

BAM! HOLLA!!!

I sent our son a text message from the store to tell him what I was thinking of doing. We had a great chuckle over my plan to either come home with a 6 pack of O’Doul’s, you know…the non-alcoholic beer OR the nastiest, cheapest, most ghetto fabulous, grossest, most rookie beer I could find. I opted for the latter, the second I walked up to the beer case at the gas station and laid eyes on that 18 ounce Colt 45! Oh man, I was cheering myself on inside my head! Nicely done, Britton…Nicely done! What a genius little scheme! I picked up the Natural Light as the icing on the cake. All you drinkers out there probably think I’m mean and nasty. All you fellow alcoholics out there are probably thinking at least I didn’t get the non-alcoholic beer! I think it was absolutely genius!

When I arrived home with my little gift, I casually announced that I wasn’t sure if he wanted cans or bottles, so I got both. HAHA!!!

My mister didn’t think it was funny….but do you know what? He has been drinking that beer and thanks to me, probably at a slower pace than if it had been his beloved Miller Lite! He asked what he was supposed to do with the Colt 45. I told him to mix it with some orange juice and have a Brass Monkey. Oh I was rolling laughing!

I wonder if there is a book out there called “Sobriety For Couples”. If not, perhaps I should write one.

By the way, my Scrammy has been sounding rather sickly the last few days. When it takes a reading (vibrates), it is louder than normal and actually sounds less like vibrating or buzzing and more like a sick cow. That’s the best description of the sound that I can come up with. I know that I have read complaints that people have written about their Scram getting louder over time with the vibrating. Perhaps this is what is going on with mine. Who knows. I just know it’s going to be even more awkward when I am in a meeting at work and it goes off. “Oh sorry y’all, it’s just the sick cow under my pant leg.” I don’t think anyone will go for that.