It’s Father’s Day weekend!
Are you doing anything special for the men you love?
This morning, my mister and I got up early and went to see Miss K. PLEASE know we aren’t THAT couple who go get their hair done together. Any other time we wouldn’t have, but my mister desperately needed his hair done and Miss K was willing to do it while I was “processing”…..soooo today we were THAT couple….ick!
While Miss K applied the color to my hair, I filled her in on all of the latest happenings…. She was really excited to hear about how we are in the process of buying our first home. I told her that I am nearing the end of my Scram sentence. I told her about how the Tipsy Transit is on the National Directory of Designated Driver Services and she just thought that was awesome! (IT IS!) I told her about having to have a new Scram put on because the first one had become too loud. I told her that I won’t have to go back to TN to have it removed and didn’t have to travel all that way to have my battery changed OR to have the new one put on! She was so happy to hear all of this news. I also told her that when I went to have my new Scram put on, that the nice man told me one of his local Scrammers had seen me at the hair salon!! I was so excited to hear that! You never know what someone might be hiding under their pant leg! She told him that she saw me with mine on and wanted to come talk to me, but didn’t. I SO wish she had!! It would have been nice to “talk Scram” with someone in person!! (She could have been part of my Wolf Pack!)
My mister and I are just hanging around the house today. We have posted lots of stuff on Craigslist in preparation for our move.(COME ON S. GA PEEPS, JUST BUY SOME STUFF ALREADY!!!)
This is just the beginning of the stuff we’re trying to sell….
Then we went over to our new house! We took the puppies to visit their new yard. They were SO very happy! Fletcher kept throwing his head back and let out the happiest little howls you’ve ever heard. It was sweet. I think they really understand that it is their new house. …..And it helps that our new neighborhood is right down the road from the dog park
My mister is super anxious to get moved in (WE BOTH ARE!), but we have to wait until August 8th for closing. Since we didn’t know the area when we first moved to South Georgia, we chose to rent a home for the first year. (We live in a military town, so this we know for sure…we have GREAT dry cleaning services and an over abundance of nice rental homes!) We are in our lease until the end of August, so we had to wait a little while before we could close on our new home. Luckily the builder of our new home was nice enough to be flexible for us and let us wait until closer to the end of our lease to close.
Here is my new kitchen, isn’t it dreamy? We picked out our refrigerator on Tuesday! Yes, for those of you who are like my mother…we call her ‘ol Eagle eye, you probably noticed that there is a wine bottle on the kitchen counter. The builder had certain parts of the home “staged” for showing purposes. Clearly they didn’t know ol’ Scrammy leg, drunkie McDrunkerton was movin in! Needless to say, our kitchen won’t be seeing many bottles of wine.
Everything is just falling into place! I know this is the right move for us, I can just feel it! We originally kicked around August 22nd as a closing date, but the builder didn’t want to wait THAT long and set the date of August 8th….and guess what….my crash happened on June 8th, our wedding was October 8th, and NOW we are closing on our very first home on August 8th!! Coincidence? God sign? I don’t know about you, but I say it’s meant to be!
When we went to visit our house, my mister asked me to bring along a notebook so that we could start jotting down things that we want the builder to fix before closing. I have this one notebook that I’ve been using for quite some time. I have all kinds of notes from graduate school, lots of wedding planning stuff, all of the info about my crash: insurance stuff, instructions about going downtown on June 22nd to be booked and processed, the “worst case scenario” notes I took in my attorney’s office, notes about our relocation from TN to GA….that notebook has tons of stuff in it!
** Worst case scenario notes, as I know you are dying to be enlightened, are as follows: 48 hours in jail, $350 fine, $1200 court costs, 24 hours of trash pick up, alcohol counseling, loss of drivers license for 1 year, DUI on my record.
As I was paging through, reliving some memories, I found something that I had written during one of those times when I was trying to be sober. Whenever I’d gone all out crazy on the drinking scene, I would try to quit drinking. It never lasted long. BUT, I was saddened by what I read……I’ll share a snippet with you:
December 9, 2009
“Well, first of all I have to say that I have no desire to drink too much. YAY! I never thought I’d see the day! I thought this would be something that I would deal with for the rest of my life. I am SO happy to be free from the hold that my vice/bad habit had on me. It feels so freeing! I don’t think when I share this joy with others around me, they truly understand what this means or how good I feel or how huge this is for me. It feels like breaking out of an imprisonment. Maybe that’s dramatic, but for me this feels like a new freedom.
Wowzers, y’all! If I was still wondering if I have a problem with alcohol, I can wonder no more. It’s pretty plain to see I knew something was going on back in December 2009. My addiction went nowhere but down from there. And now here I am. I wouldn’t change a thing. I feel so blessed to have had so many life altering events take place.
This journal entry back in December 2009 is why I am so grateful for Scram. There were many times throughout my drinking “career” that I realized I’d taken it too far and knew something needed to change. Without Scram, I wouldn’t have been able to do it. I wouldn’t be where I am today. There were even times that I would think about going to get a prescription for Antabuse, but I never thought anyone would actually give it to me. The point is, I knew I needed something to help me get sober and stay sober. I knew I couldn’t do it alone. Looking back, I think it is pretty desperate to have thought about seeking a prescription for Antabuse just to get a handle on my lack of control over my drinking habit.
As I have been looking forward to our big move and gathering all of the miscellaneous financial documents for the bank, I have really been reflecting on where I am in my life at this time. Sobriety is the focus of my life these days and I often find myself mourning the loss of my beloved alcohol. I can’t have a celebratory bottle of wine with my husband in our first home. On one hand, I feel sad, on the other hand I realize that it is only WITHOUT alcohol in my life that I have arrived at this place in my life. I see NOW, through the eyes of sobriety, that I have been missing out on so much! I finally have a successful career because I am SOBER. Funny, I never connected those dots before. I never saw it quite as clearly as I do now….through sober eyes, with a clear head. I am able to function every day because I haven’t pulled an all-nighter with my cherished friend, Alcohol. And I don’t just function…what I was doing before was “JUST FUNCTIONING”. Now, I find myself moving in a very positive direction not just in my career, but in my life…..all because I have had no choice but to take a break from the one that I so admired…Alcohol.
It is now that I see that with alcohol in my life, I was spinning my wheels. I knew I was spinning my wheels, but I couldn’t put my finger on WHY I wasn’t moving forward in my life….and I want to believe it was that very thing that helped drive me further toward my love of drinking. I was spinning my wheels and alcohol helped me escape that reality.
Crap, y’all I keep having revelation after revelation, even as I sit here and tell you all of this! (Thank you!)
I know that if I fall victim to alcohol once again, I can and will lose it all and that is just not worth the risk. Here’s to sobriety!
My friend Missy, of Bitten and Bound said it best:
Learning from the Past, Living in the Present, Dreaming of the Future.
(I think I’ve found my new life’s motto, y’all!)