Southern Fried Catfish

We went someplace new for our weekly Friday night dinner out on the town last night. Note to self….never let your mister choose the restaurant. Especially if you’ve never been there!

First of all, it was a Buffet. THAT alone screams “NOoooo, DON’T DO IT!!”

This place advertised down home southern style food. (Clue number 2!)

When we walked in, it was wall to wall carpet. (Clue number 3…I have a thing about carpeted restaurants. Sometimes when we are choosing a restaurant and my mister asks where I want to go, I say simply “anywhere that isn’t carpeted”…sure wish I’d gone with that this time)

When we ordered our beverages, I asked for a coke and was told they only have water, tea, and lemonade. (Clue number 4!) I told her I wanted tea, half and half. Now, normally when I go to a restaurant and tell them this, they come out with half sweet, half unsweet…..we live i the south, remember? Not this time! I thought the color looked funny and sure enough….half and half at this place meant half lemonade, half tea. Luckily I love a good Arnold Palmer so I was just as happy, although mystified.

When I looked for a nice table for us to enjoy our dinner, everywhere I turned there was a metal bowl or bucket on the table, the chair, or sitting on the floor to catch water dripping from the ceiling. (Do we really need any more clues?? I mean, this was more than a clue, more like a….big flashing neon sign saying DON’T EAT HERE!) It was so gross!

I was SUPER grossed out by the fried catfish….

Maybe I have just never seen southern fried catfish before, but EW, was I grossed out! Of course this wasn’t the exact catfish they had….it was the best picture I could find that looked close to theirs. Theirs was ickier looking. I would’ve taken a picture while at the restaurant, but I don’t think the lady at the next table would have appreciated me photographing her plate. The fish on her plate still had the silver skin and fins on it and everything. The fins were sticking up off her plate. I was waiting for them to reach up and slap her in the face. You know how when you see a dead person in a casket and you know they are dead, but some part of you is just waiting for them to sit up and go “rawr”…..maybe I am the only one….well that’s like the catfish on the plate. I was waiting, almost expecting it to start flopping around, fins going everywhere…eventually slapping the lady in the face. It was so gross! Maybe I’ll go back JUST to photograph the catfish so you can see exactly what I ‘m talking about, since this picture that I found doesn’t even begin to describe it.

(Sorry, all you fried catfish eaters out there….I have just never seen anything quite like this before.)

That was the quickest Friday night family dinner out on the town we’ve ever had! We were in and out in no time! We practically RAN out of there!

Sir Higgins has been really going to town on his favorite frisbees….

We’ve had to take them away from them since he’s been biting chunks off. We definitely don’t need anymore $200 emergency vet bills. So, while I was wandering the aisles of Walmart today, I found him a brand new Higgins-proof frisbee! And he LOVES it!

He loves it SO much, in fact, that he won’t even let me get a picture of him with it…I just barely got this one! And he won’t let his brother Fletcher play with it either.

I have 2 phone calls to Pecharelyse and 2.5 days, a mere 60 hours before my release……I just can’t believe it!

I didn’t get to go meet the lady here in town who will take off my Scram on Tuesday. That means my bracelet is STILL storing all of these readings….since LAST Friday! Crazy, huh! My Gabriele said that it would be okay. They will just download all of the readings when I go to have it removed. Apparently this new local Scram lady is a very busy person….always in court. Gabriele gave me strict instructions that I needed to be at the office Tuesday to have this lady remove my Scram before 8:30 am. I told my Gabriele I’d be there at 7:45 am if I have to! I am ready to be FREE!! My freedom doesn’t just mean that I can take a bath with 2 legs in the water, it also means that the CHOICE to remain sober is all mine.

Looking back at this entire experience, it hasn’t been all that bad. Especially since YOU have been here with me every step of the way! (THANK YOU!)

When I learned that I was going to have to live with the Scram Bracelet for 6 months, I was in a state of fear, especially after I began researching the “do’s and don’ts”, the “what can happens” and the general tips of the trade. Unfortunately there is not much out there and most of it will make you crazy. It was for this reason, that I decided I would document my own journey and experiences through “scram-hood”. My sole intention was to share with others the TRUTH about life with Scram as I experienced it, to share with you what daily life was like wearing the Scram Bracelet. I wanted to become a subject-matter expert on the Scram Alcohol Monitoring Bracelet…and I feel pretty confident that I am darn near close by now!

I have tried to make things interesting for you, but honestly my experience with Scram has been quite uneventful. The S.W.A.T. team never showed up…..not once! I have not had a “Tamper” reading. I have not had a “you’ve consumed alcohol” alert (probably because not a drip or a drop of alcohol has gotten anywhere near my face since January 15, 2012).

I have had my hair colored many times, worn TONS of hairspray (Texas style, remember?? Big Hair BIG HAIR is BEST!), had many manicures and pedicures, slept next to my husband after he has had several drinks, showered, walked on the beach, kayaked and guess what….no problems. Not one.

I’m no one special. I have received zero “special treatment”. Bascially, my sweet fellow Scrammers….follow the rules, use your head, be kind to your Scram providers and you will be just fine. It’s not SO bad, so don’t be scared or worried. Try to learn something from this, as I have. If you have a problem, well now is the time to recognize it and get some help. If you don’t have a problem and you just made a bad decision well then don’t do it again! Don’t let your friends drink and drive. Be an example to them. Take a stand on drinking and driving! Use this experience as an opportunity to learn and grow, don’t waste it by being bitter and resentful that you are being punished. This is your perfect opportunity to make a difference in the lives of those around you. Your attitude and outlook on this will make it a positive experience or an absolutely miserable one. It is YOUR choice.

Now that I am nearing the end of my Scram Journey, I look back and see how much I have grown and evolved. I see that my Journey has actually just begun. When I took my last drink on January 15, 2012 I didn’t realize it would be my last ever. I thought it would just be my last one until late July. I have so many people to thank.

Dear God: Thank you for the much needed intervention. You definitely know what you are doing! Clearly you have plans for me or I wouldn’t still be here.

Dear Officer Police Man, Sir:  Thank you for valuing my honesty. Thank you for not taking me to jail. Thank you for not letting me go, either. Thank you for coming to the scene of the accident so quickly. Thank you for sending me to the emergency room in an ambulance. That ride sure was more expensive than a taxi would have been.

Dear Judge: Thank you for recognizing that I needed help. Thank you for not sending me to jail for 48 hours, or any jail at all. You must have known a.) they would have eaten me alive and b.) my problem was far bigger than simply a drunk driving offense.  Thank you for giving me six months of sobriety. I don’t know if and or when I would have gotten sober, had you not given me my Scram punishment. Thank you for giving my parents back their daughter, for never letting my new son see what a disaster I am capable of becoming, for allowing me to be honest with him while at the same time being a huge example for a young man about to turn 21 years old, and thank you for giving my husband a pretty dern cool wife  ….all because I’m sober! You have NO clue the gift you have given to me by “prescribing” the Scram Bracelet as my punishment.

Dear Attorney: What can I say, you are a badass and so is your junior attorney, Jhasta! (I don’t know if that is what she is specifically called, but she is the one who actually went to court with me and spoke on my behalf. She was AWESOME every step of the way and calmed all of my many many fears.)

<—–That’s Him, isn’t he cool lookin?! He kind of looks like he should live in Miami and be a plastic surgeon. Okay, maybe I’ve watched too much Nip/Tuck. He’s even more suave and intimidating looking in person, I promise!….he’s awesome!

Thank you for knowing about the Scram Bracelet and using it as a “bargaining tool” in my case. Thank you for being so dang cool with such an unbelievable staff to support you so that you can continue to do what you do…and charge lots and lots of money for it so that I’ll never want to do it again even more! It was worth every penny of the money I am now paying back to my father. (THANK YOU DAD!)

Dear BMW: Okay, you guys are a bunch of Bavarian geniuses. You make an amazing machine that is not only beautiful but is incredibly safe! I swear, I will never drink and drive again…..can I please have another one ? (Hey, if you don’t try you’ll never know!)

Okay, I have tons more thank you messages to write, but for now I’ve got to go start dinner (NOT catfish!) before my boys get home so I’ll stop there and get going on my wifely/motherly duties.