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Posts Tagged ‘Alcohol Monitoring System’

  1. Not Crazy, Just Particular

    June 4, 2013 by Britton_Riley

    So it’s 3 am and I am wide awake. It’s because my mister is on the road, headed back to Florida. He was home for the weekend and it’s time for him to go back to work. When he is on the road this early in the morning, its pretty tough for me to sleep. Usually I watch TV for 2 hours and then fall asleep for a little while until it’s time for me to get ready for my own work day. Living this way is really tough! I sure do hope we can get a buyer on our house soon.

    I am pretty sure everyone does things others may think are crazy or at least a little weird. I do! I have certain preferences and behaviors that are “uniquely mine”. I am very very particular about things being lined up “just so”, my spices are alphabetized, towels in my linen closet are folded “just so” and all facing the same direction. I get it from my mom. She’s awesome, but super duper particular…..and so am I! I am getting worse the older I get. People around me who don’t understand think I’m strange. Others appreciate how organized I am.

    While I have my own set of particulars on the inside of the house, my mister has HIS own set of particulars on the outside! He used to do landscaping, so he has a certain way he likes things done. Yesterday we hired a crew to lay pine straw (that’s “mulch” down south) and OH BOY was it amusing to watch him pace the floor and run from window to window, watching as they laid it! He was having a fit! Did you know that you are supposed to “massage” the edges? That’s the word he used! He was so full of anxiety about this pine straw that finally we just had to leave. He just couldn’t watch anymore, so he paid the man and asked him to move his truck so we could get out of the garage.

    We went to have lunch and returned to find….

     Okay, here’s the back…..see what you think

     I should have taken a picture of the work in progress and maybe you’d understand his anxiety. Can you see that they rolled the edges? Apparently that’s what he was calling “massaging”. He scoured every inch of the yard when we came home, it was like a dog sniffing to see who’s been in his back yard! He made sure the pine straw was laid evenly  and he stamped some of it down so it wasn’t so fluffy. (Personally, I like it fluffy!) He carefully tucked it under each and every plant. He was so funny!

    I have to say, as amusing as it was to watch and as strange as I thought the whole thing was, I do understand. He must watch me folding my towels, sheets, or putting groceries away in amazement, just as I watched him with that pine straw. I guess this is part of being newly married, too. You get to discover things about each other every single day! Luckily I am learning to see these things as endearing qualities, rather than annoying :)

    Oh, another “unique” thing about me…..I DVR Dr. Phil. I watch it daily. GUILTY AS CHARGED! On one of the recent episodes, Dr. Phil was interviewing a lady who said she was wearing Scram! Dr. Phil said “you’re wearing it right now?” and she said “absolutely” …..um, as if she could take it off?? I thought that was so cool! Okay, maybe “cool” isn’t exactly the word, but let’s just say I could relate….and I was secretly hoping to catch a glimpse of that bracelet!

    Category Life Post Scram, SCRAM | Tags: ,,, | 4 Comments

  2. How I Got Here

    January 26, 2013 by Britton_Riley

    We’ve celebrated my milestone of one year sober but do you really know how I got here?

    It wasn’t my intention for my last drink to be my LAST DRINK….EVER. It just sort of turned out that way, thanks to Scram. I know the Scram Bracelet is not without it’s occasional problems, just like any manmade creation, but I have nothing but praise for the device. (NO one is paying me to say this, so let’s just get that clear) The thought process behind this type of punishment is simply genius in my mind. WHY couldn’t I have come up with this?? Oooohhh yeah, because I was too busy being DRUNK! I miss alcohol very much (if you couldn’t tell by some of my recent posts) but because of Scram and forced sobriety, I was able to identify that alcohol and I are a match made in hell. It’s just not good for me and I was well on my way to ruin. It’s a miracle I never killed anyone on my many drives to the bar after pre-gaming or home from the bar after living it up, or back from the river after “relaxing” with friends, dogs, beer, and Parliament Lights (gotta LOVE that recessed filter, right? By the way, I think now if I were to take a drag off a cigarette, I’d probably puke my guts out!….except if it was accompanied by a few beers of course). The level of thoughtlessness and selfishness is something I never would have fully understood without that 6 months that I was forced to cut off all alcohol contact with alcohol. I mean sure, when I would wake up in the morning to the disaster known as hurricane drunk Britton, I would say to myself “damn, how did I manage to make it home in one piece??” and that would be a chilling feeling. But that chill would fade and the next time I would find myself in the midst of partying like a rockstar, I would not hesitate to get in the car and go where I needed to go. IGNORANT, I know.

    In the days leading up to this forced sobriety, I planned my last few drinking events very carefully. I had my exit strategy down. I knew I would be entering “the Scram zone” on January 24, 2012 (one year ago!!) so I wanted to give my system ample time to “detox” before the big day. My birthday is on the 14th and fell on a Saturday last year so I started my “detox”/ “Scram-prep” after the weekend was over. SO, that is how my official sober date came to be January 16, 2012.

    Category Getting Real With Addiction, Life Post Scram, Life Pre Scram, SCRAM, Scram Bracelet Diaries | Tags: ,,,,,,,,, | 3 Comments

  3. Dancing With My Demons

    October 28, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    Burning Desire

    286 days Sober

    That’s 180 days attributable to Scram, 106 days have been 100% MY OWN will power and inner strength.

    That’s pretty remarkable, if you ask me.

    I thought it would get easier, but to my surprise it continues to get harder.

    Not a day has gone by that I haven’t wanted a drink. Some days it is just a passing thought. Other days, it is a real struggle.

    My “Burning Desire” switch has been flipped all weekend. It is big and bright. That burning desire switch is lit up like Times Square on New Years Eve!

    Now, I have to prepare you for what I’m about to tell you. I don’t want you to think that my mister is being disrespectful or unsupportive because he continues to drink. It is the social gatherings when it bothers me to see everyone drinking together, but if it is just my mister having a drink with dinner, I’m okay. It’s strange how some situations are harder to deal with than others when it comes to drinking. I never wanted my mister to stop drinking because I’m out of the drinking world now. In fact, I often feel like I am drinking vicariously through him. Maybe that’s unhealthy but it’s working for me right now and I’m still sober, so whatever…..

    I watch him put that glass to his lips and imagine I am savoring each sweet sip right along with him. The lovely part about it is I get to enjoy observing the act and imagining that it’s me, while all along staying sober, so when his personality begins to change, mine stays the same and I find myself SO thankful those sips I took were only in my mind. When he starts to talk louder, when he repeats himself, when an insignificant issue or situation suddenly becomes headline news, I think to myself….was I like that??? surely not! But the answer is YES! I WAS! And then I’m really glad I am sober!

    When I smell the aroma of  the beer coming off his breath, I want to grab him and lick his face off!! Luckily it’s not always that way. Sometimes the smell repulses me. Right now it’s been down right mesmerizing.

    Yesterday was College Football Saturday…..a former weekly drinking holiday for me. We were out doing some shopping and decided to stop over at Buffalo Wild Wings to catch the first half of the Tennessee game and grab some lunch. I have been in sobriety breakdown mode and for me, this was like entering into the lions den. I know that if my mister knew how ready to break down I was, he never would have taken me there. Perhaps I was feeling a little masochistic….actually I was just ready to have a big frosty mouth watering BEER!

    As we pulled into the parking lot, I actually rehearsed in my head, how I would order a Bud Ligt Draft. Could I do it? What would my mister say? I could imagine the look on his face of sheer disappointment and confusion……a look of really???? You are REALLY going to do this???? 

    He ordered his beer and I ordered my coke. When they brought his beer, I watched the ice chips that had formed on the inside of the frosty pilsner glass float so beautifully up through the beer from the bottom of the glass and my mouth watered. I wanted to push my mister aside and grab that big glass of amazingness and gulp it down. And then I thought of that feeling of floating I would feel in my head. That moment you first feel the amazing buzz. I thought about it. I tried to reason with myself, what harm would one beer do. Then I thought of the fact that I knew my mister would be drinking, so if I did break down and have a beer, how would we get home???

    That is the only thing that held me back. How would we get home? That is the only reason I didn’t pull the trigger.

    Drinking is not an option for me. Drinking and driving is DEFINITELY not an option for me.

    I am still sober.

    I survived one more day.

    As I sat there contemplating the situation, consumed by temptation, I checked my email…..what can I say, I needed a distraction and the Tennessee football game wasn’t doing the job.

    There was an email in my inbox. It was a comment from a reader. It couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time.

    The comment was written by Corey, thanking me for sharing, that it was nice to know someone else shared in the struggle. Corey, THANK YOU!! The words in that comment helped to solidify and reaffirm my choice to stay sober. It is what I needed. Corey was my little angel of sobriety that I needed to hear from, when I needed it the most.

     

    Category Getting Real With Addiction, Life Post Scram, SCRAM, Scram Bracelet Diaries | Tags: ,,,,,,, | 2 Comments

  4. Pumpkin Pickin’

    October 22, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    I hadn’t been to a pumpkin patch sine I was a child…..that was, until yesterday! My son Tyler, my mom, and I had a great time at the Pickin’ Patch in a little town called Dunnellon, Florida. We ended up there, thanks to Google. They had a hay ride and acres of pumpkins. The only thing missing was the crisp fall weather we are all accustomed to this time of year.

    We grabbed a wagon and began our great pumpkin hunt. We searched and searched the fields for the perfect pumpkins.

    We had to find 3….one for me and two for Tyler. A big one and a little one. He had a great design all picked out.

    We walked up and down the fields to find the most perfect pumpkins.

    Once we found all three pumpkins, the wagon got pretty heavy, so Tyler decided to take over pulling for me. I thought that was awfully sweet of him. He is such a good son!

    While we were picking pumpkins, my dad and my mister were golfing…..in the SAME shirt! It was priceless! When we arrived at my mom and dad’s house, I noticed that my dad had on the same shirt my mister had on!  My mom and I got quite a chuckle out of that. She didn’t notice it until she saw them sitting together in the golf cart in the garage….which was an even funnier sight to behold! We decided that if anyone said anything at the club house, they could just say they were playing on the same “team”…..even though there was no tournament going on….

    (So you may be wondering how they have the same golf shirt. Well, my mister prides himself on being something of a snappy dresser and my dad RARELY ever buys clothes for himself. For Christmas, my mister bought my dad a golf shirt, which was also hanging in his very own closet too! ….So the two of them showing up in the same outfit was bound to happen sooner or later.)

    By the time we got back to my parents’ house, the twins were done golfing. (I SO wish I’d gotten a picture of those two!) When we walked in, the twins were out on the lanai eating a sandwich and watching football together. I asked how they golfed and my dad simply said “we golfed”. My mister said he had 2 holes that gave him trouble and my dad didn’t reveal anything about his game, other than that he played. I have learned not to ask too many questions when I get that type of response.

    We headed over to the pumpkin carving party at my sister in law’s house and I was greeted by my father in law wearing Halloween pajamas. I loved it! I was also greeted by these guys…..

    My sister in law went all out this year for sure! I thought this was awesome, I just love Halloween!! I wish I had taken some close-ups so you could see the detail in them. They were really well done and super creepy! I love the one on top…kind of looks like one of the members of KISS!!

    AND she didn’t disappoint me….she made me my very own Shirley Temple!!!

    It was tasty and really made me feel special! :) When I was done with it, my brother in law even offered to make me a “daiquiri on the Virgin Side”….I love it! What a sweetie!

    All of the plastic was spread out and the little ones started finger painting their pumpkins. It was fun to watch…and super messy! My niece eventually had it on her face. It was too cute!

    Alice volunteered to be the official photographer and we started cutting. Guts were flying, pictures were snapping, and eventually we had some pretty immaculate works of art! Not to worry….while Alice took pictures, we were careful to set all of the pumpkin seeds aside for her to take home to roast!

    Mario was the first one done…..

    ONE Mario...aahh ahhh ahhhhh

    TWO Marios....ahhh ahh ahhhhhh

    THREE Marios....ahhh ahhh ahhhhhh!!!

    How clever….Mario carved a Mario pumpkin! And he did a darn good job, too! Their cute little one is also Mario, so there are THREE Marios in that bottom picture! Adorable for sure!

    (Big Mario does some awesome stuff with professional sports. Visit his website here!)

    My brother in law’s sister just got engaged and this is her fiancee’s pumpkin…..

    The Grim Reaper. Pretty good carving work, I must say!

    Tyler worked diligently on his pumpkin, which took a lot longer than the others. He free handed his design, based off of a picture he found on Google.

    Not sure what happened here, but even though it’s blurry, I think it is a good picture of the process :)

    See Alice’s pot full of seeds there on the lower left???? YUM!!

    This guy was sitting on the ledge behind us. Good news for him…he can drink as many of those beers as he wants and he doesn’t have to worry about what it’s doing to his liver! Lucky guy!

    My mister “decorated” his pumpkin….

    What can I say….Tyler must have gotten his creativity & talent from his mother and his cleverness & cute sense of humor from his father!

    ….So, I won’t keep you in suspense any longer…here is Tyler’s finished product……

    Isn’t that SO cool?????

    I just love the look of “Ooooh Nooooo!!” on that little pumpkin’s face!

    While he was sculpting the teeth, he would have to wipe away the pumpkin debris so that he could see exactly what he was doing. At one point, he was “flossing” the teeth with the cloth.

    We shared a pretty good laugh about that one, since we are SO into flossing at our house these days! Our dentist would be so proud!

    He carefully measured the space for the little pumpkin.

    Here it is all lit up….

    I can’t wait to set it out for our Trick or Treaters!

    Right now we’re watching one of my VERY very VERY favorite movies….Beetlejuice!!

    What is your favorite Halloween movie? What is the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?

    Scram showed up in my dreams AGAIN last night. Geez, what is with me these days?? I would love to know what my friend Sigmund Freud would have to say about this. I think it had something to do with the fact that we drove home late last night and I often wish I would get pulled over as a suspected drunk driver just so I can take a breath-alyzer test! and say “I’ve been sober for NINE months!!” Is that strange? I’m not sure I could pass a field sobriety test because my sober balance isn’t that great, but I KNOW I would be able to pass a breath test! Something inside of me thinks it would be fun. Maybe that’s twisted.

    Category Life Post Scram, SCRAM, Scram Dreams | Tags: ,,,,,,,, | 1 Comment

  5. Pumpkin Carving Traditions

    October 20, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    IMG_2236

    Right now we are headed to my sister in law’s house for her annual Pumpkin Carving Party and I am super excited! My mister is driving. While it is only a 2 hour drive, it can get long so he likes to make it interesting. He beeps the horn and announces to everyone in the car that “Sherman tooted!” Never a dull moment, y’all!

    Last year, we had just gotten home from our honeymoon so we weren’t really in halloween-mode. I made the most amazing pumpkin bars with cream cheese frosting for the Pumpkin Carving Party. We stopped at the grocery store on our way to her house to pick up a pumpkin, a ghost cookie cutter, and a mallet. Since neither of us are that good with a knife and we didn’t really feel like poking all of those tiny little holes into the pumpkin from a pre-fab pattern, we thought our plan to just use a cookie cutter was genius!

    …..and it was. Once I got that pumpkin gutted, we were done in no time flat! (Which left plenty of time for drinking…..a hobby we much preferred over pumpkin carving!)

    ….But that was last year. Post-car crash, pre-scram, pre-sobriety.

    This year, I am hoping for Shirley Temples and LOTS of pumpkin creativity! This year we have our son with us. I haven’t shared this with you yet, but he is SO talented. He has a sketch book that is really impressive! (I think he should follow that passion and incorporate it into a career, but what do I know…..you can’t tell these kids anything – whew, I sounded like a real live parent there, didn’t I!) He has already been googling ideas for his pumpkin! I can’t wait to see what he comes up with and I can’t wait to share it with you! I know it will be a masterpiece and he is SURE to “win” our unofficial “contest”. I think his “prize” will be a tank of gas in his new car.

    My mister and my dad will play golf when we get to Ocala, while Tyler, my mom, and I will find a pumpkin patch to go pick out our perfect, prize winning pumpkins. I haven’t decided if my perfect pumpkin needs to be tall so he can have a long face or if he needs to be perfectly round for a cute little plump face….

    My sister in law spreads plastic out all over the back porch and everyone finds a spot and we all start gutting. While pumpkin guts fly, my mother in law is there with a big garbage bag, catching the guts and cleaning up. (She LOVES to clean! And she’s good at it, too! The boys love to tease her if they find a piece of dust in her house…which is rare. Her house is SPOTLESS! She runs her vacuum EVERY SINGLE DAY! Whew, I know where my mister gets that from.) When she sets the bag down, another family member, Alice, rummages through to salvage all of the pumpkin seeds. Her family LOVES to roast the pumpkin seeds! I have to admit, roasted pumpkin seeds are pretty tasty!

    My Scrammy visited me in my dreams last night. I have that dream from time to time. It is like the dream normal people have where they are naked in public. In my dream, I have an exposed Scram in public which can be equally as traumatic!

    Category Life Post Scram, Life Pre Scram, Phantom Scram, SCRAM, Scram Bracelet Diaries, Scram Dreams | Tags: ,,,,,,, | 4 Comments

  6. Sober

    August 1, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    I am enjoying my sober life. It is really funny how I am still in that programmed mode of Scram, where basically I still feel like drinking isn’t even an option, as if I still have my Scram on. It is a weird, indescribable feeling, but I am very thankful! one thing that wearing the Scram bracelet did for me was the “re-programming” of my lifestyle, my routine, and my way of thinking. We used to drink every night. I still think fondly of my old pal booze though. The idea of a glass of wine sounds wonderful, but thanks to Scram, in my mind it isn’t even an option.

    I still feel the pull of my love affair with alcohol, but the bite of the consequences of my reckless behaviors. I heard this song after lots of thinking on the beach and embracing my new sober life and it really hit home for me. As I thought about walking on the beach, playing in the waves, I felt amazing….so alive!

    I wanted to share this song with you, with the lyrics of course :)

    How do I feel this good sober?

    And if I let myself go I’m the only one to blame.

    The latest installment of drinking unpleasantries:

    The FEMA effect…..otherwise known as the “morning after”, when I would have to evaluate the damage of “Hurricane Drunk Britton”. The fuzzy memories and fear of what I’d done, who I’d said what to had me full of anxiety. I felt so much anxiety to even face anyone the next day.

    Category Life Post Scram, SCRAM | Tags: ,,,,,,, | 3 Comments

  7. Beach Bums

    July 30, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    Look ma, no Scram!

    Scram free at the beach!! Oh, it was wonderful!

    I played in the waves until I was sea sick. It was magical!

    Then I fell asleep in my beach chair for a little while.

    And I enjoyed drinking plain old  juice more than ever before!

    The boys had a great time too. We played frisbee until the boys were downright water logged!

    After the big game of frisbee, we went back to our chairs to do some tanning….

    Sir Higgins tanned his rump first. We kind of thought he looked like when the house falls on the witch in The Wizard of Oz….

    We did some digging and others did some bikini watching. I think it’s pretty obvious who was doing what….

    We took long walks on the beach in the evening and first thing in the morning. There were tons of other dogs there for Higgins and Fletcher to meet!

    This was our evening walk after my mister and I came back from our dinner.

    We were sad when the weekend was over and it was time to leave, but can’t wait to go back!

    We got home around 3 yesterday afternoon after spending half the day on the beach. The car is loaded with sand and now so is my washer and dryer. I don’t freak out about those types of things, that’s why the amazing Oreck people exist….VACUUMS! My mister has trouble with that concept when he first sees all of that luxurious sand everywhere, but we’re working on it :) A little sand won’t kill anybody….hey, just think of it as a souvenir!

    AND it’s fairly easy to clean up.

    When we got home, I quickly filled the washing machine up with towels and headed off to the grocery store. I made dinner, bathed dogs, finished laundry, took a shower, and finally landed comfortably in my Tempurpedic. (Let’s just say….”resorts” that are dog friendly aren’t always the cleanest places….and let’s just say I was afraid of the bed and didn’t get much sleep the night before….and let’s just say we may be finding another place to stay the next time we go to St. Augustine…..)

    Shew, yall….what a weekend! I’m pretty pooped for a Mondee morning!

    Category Life Post Scram, SCRAM | Tags: ,,,,,, | 7 Comments

  8. The Empty Nesters

    July 27, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    Well, we are officially (temporary) Empty Nesters.

    It is sad. T (our son) has left to go back to Indiana to visit friends & family and to see a concert. I am going to miss him terribly, but he will be back on Wednesday.

    It is 10:30 pm and he is just getting to Atlanta. He’s got a long trip ahead of him!

    Guess who is going to the beach this weekend……

    Sir Higgins and his brother Fletcher!! Oh, and my mister and I too :)

    The last time Higgins went to the beach, he had to wear SHOES because of all of the sand spurs. He looked pretty cute in them.

    This was Outer Banks, NC. If you are looking for a dog-friendly vacation, I highly suggest the Outer Banks! It was wonderful! Higgins had the vacation of his dreams!

    He chowed down in style….

    AND he even attended Yappy Hour!

    He sipped doggie daquiris and munched on some arf d’oeuvres. It was awesome. He was totally vacationing like a Kardashian! He soaked in the party pool with the other pooches and played on some agility equipment.

    But THIS weekend, we are headed back to Saint Augustine!! I am SO excited! I cannot wait to jump in the waves! We are spending the night there on Saturday night. I found a hotel that accepts pets in their ground floor rooms and the beach is dog friendly, as long as they are on leashes. We are going to have such a blast! My mister even got me a new little traveling speaker system that you plug into your phone or Ipod…and it’s PINK! I have been using it every night while I soak in the bath.

    Speaking of the bath, I’ve gone through an entire bottle of bubble bath already! I know that is extreme, but not only can I NOW take a 2 legged bath, I can use BUBBLES!!! Lots and lots….AND LOTS of bubbles!! That is one of the things I am sure enjoying post-Scram.

    I am headed to Los Angeles in about 2 weeks. It is a business trip, but I am still excited. I can’t imagine if I’d had to go and still had my Scram on. I could have gone, I just would have had to whip out my letter from the Sheriff’s Department that explained the device around my leg that couldn’t be removed. That would have been a little bit awkward, especially since I am traveling with someone from our office.

    Another potentially awkward situation that I just barely dodged is pedicures….All of the ladies in our office received pedicures from the big big kahuna that we work for and they want to all go together to use our gift certificates! Fun, huh! Well, that could have been BAAAADDD!!! Could have been, but luckily I’m out of the woods!  Wahoooo! I miss you Scrammy, but I’m glad I can fully function as a normal person again :)

    It is still strange. I still “feel” my Scram, which is SO strange! I wonder when that will go away. I am still really really self conscious of my exposed leg at first when people see me. It is REALLY strange. I wonder when that will go away too….boy, life sure changes when you have something to “hide”.

    So here’s my latest installment of my drinking unpleasantries……I haven’t hear any of YOUR stories yet…what, to you, is one of the worst things about drinking?

    Beer farties!

    Beer farties are a really unpleasant side effect of drinking. If your sphincter is strong enough to keep them in, then your tummy just rumbles and rumbles.  If aren’t so fortunate to have tight muscles down there, then hopefully you are somewhere very loud or at least have very understanding friends. I once lost control. I was standing in a group of men and brrrt…. you guessed it, one accidentally slipped out. I thought I would die when one of them said “WOAAHHH! did you just fart??” Of course they couldn’t be quiet about that. They just about shouted it! I couldn’t help it….. it slipped out, even as hard as I tried to keep it in. I was at a friend’s vacation home in the mountains of North Carolina and I drank Red Stripe the entire way there. I had to quit drinking Red Stripe. I think it is the worst beer when it comes to beer farties.

      <——–THIS disheveled mess is Miss Stinky Pants, myself and it is shortly before I passed out in the corner after the public poot. (No one is too cute to poot. Everyone does it. It’s just that some can control it better than others and alcohol makes your sphincter weak, apparently.) Lovely, I know.  Miss Stinky Pants couldn’t wait until everyone was gathered together. She started drinking long before that and then passed out in the corner while everyone reunited and enjoyed visiting with one another…..Story of my drinking life! I always missed out on stuff because I would get SO carried away “pre-gaming”, that by the time I got to the actual event, I was typically a hot mess. Hence my appreciation of Scrammy for GETTING me sober and for stories like these, among other things, are going to KEEP me sober!

    Category Life Post Scram, Phantom Scram, Scram Bracelet Diaries | Tags: ,,,,,,,,, | No Comments

  9. Release Day Eve

    July 25, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    Sir Higgins has been busy playing with his new frisbee :) and I FINALLY caught him in the act for you to see!

    With less than 12 hours from my Scram – freedom, I  packed up my Scram modem. As we speak, it is on it’s way to my Gabriele.

     

     

     

    My dear friend Tracey asked me yesterday if I was okay. She said she sensed a lot of apprehension, fear, and worry in my recent posts. That was so sweet of her! I am alright, it is just bittersweet. This device has given me a new life. I have had a six month endearing relationship with this little dude. Scrammy has developed a personality and an identity all it’s own and now it is time to say goodbye. (Remember, we’re the family who feels the need to name their cars….everything must have an identity!)

    I have cleaned our bathrooms with rubber gloves for the final time.

    I have itched and scratched my last Scram itch and Scram scratch!

    Last night as I settled in to my bed, my Scram positioned just right so that I could get comfortable. My mother in law fears that I may have trouble sleeping without my Scram vibrating every 30 minutes. I have to admit, I have grown kind of fond of my routine little “massage”, but I am pretty sure I’ll be sleeping just fine when it is no longer there.

    I have received so many well wishes and messages of love and support. They all mean so much, but perhaps my favorite is the letter I received from my dad on the eve of my big day. I would like to share it with you…..

    Dearest Britton:

    In the morning, your ordeal with SCRAM, that you have handled beautifully, ends.  I just wanted to tell you how proud Mom and I are of your understanding and acceptance of the entire situation, all the ramifications; past and future, and the strength of commitment you have made to make others aware of the stupidity of alcohol use; most importantly, your resolve to not succumb to alcoholic drink temptation.
    When the urge surfaces with your leg free of SCRAMMY, just dig down and remember all you have learned and the many members of your “wolf pack” that support you.  Mom and I are your best and biggest supporters, as you know.  In those instances of temptation, think of your “alcohol-free” life as a lifestyle change that is healthier, less expensive, and non-inhibiting to good judgment and decisions.  I promise your life will be infinitely happier and fulfilling; read and follow the wording you chose for your necklace as many times a day as necessary for “magical” support.
    Whatever has happened in your life that you are less than pleased with, just know that it is not how many times you are knocked down that counts, but how many times you get back up to face life’s challenges.  No matter what, you have Mom’s and my unconditional love and support.  We will always be grateful that Heavenly Father blessed us with the you and the gift of parenting and supporting you.
    I could not be more proud of your work and the career opportunities you have and will create for yourself.  Alcohol will surely compromise a career, as you know.
    Call me and Mom in the morning when you are SCRAMMY free and enjoy your first bath tomorrow night – luxuriate in the warm water with both legs submerged.
    I love you,
    Dad
    …..I am a VERY lucky girl.
    I love you Dad!

    Category SCRAM, Scram Bracelet Diaries | Tags: ,,,,,,,,, | 2 Comments

  10. Manic Mondays

    July 23, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    Ever wonder why Mondays are so dang difficult?

    It is just a day, like the other 4 work days, but for some reason Mondays are extra challenging. I tend to have lots of “blonde moments” on Mondays. I only had 2 days off, it’s not like I’ve been gone a week. It shouldn’t take THAT much to get back into the swing of things.

    I’ll try not to be a hot mess today.

    I told you about my online AA meetings, right? Well, the website that hosts them is called In The Rooms. I was so inspired by the “daily meditation” message that they had for today that I really wanted to share it with you. Pretty appropriate for a Monday, in my opinion. A great message to begin the week… Enjoy!

    Working With Love

    What I do today, I will do with love in my heart. The love that I bring to the various tasks and encounters of my day weave that energy into the very fabric of my world. This world is sewn invisibly together with waves and particles. The waves and particles emanating from me move in and out of a similar field of those surrounding another person. The energy I send is felt by another person on a deeper level than anything I might say. It doesn’t work to be polite with my words but then to feel hate – people get a double message. Double messages make people feel crazy and teach those close to me to doubt their own insides.

    I will work with love.

    And what is it to work with love? It is to weave the cloth with threads drawn from your heart, even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth. It is to build a house with affection, even as if your beloved were to dwell in that house…..It is to charge all things you fashion with a breath of your own spirit.

    - Khalil Gibran

    25 hours from now, my Scram Bracelet will be removed.

    I will be held accountable to make the right decisions for myself and my family, as it relates to my sobriety.

     Um,  no pressure or anything.

    My sobriety will be 100% dependent upon MY choices. The true test is upon me.

    I will not fall off the wagon. I will not fall off the wagon. I will not fall off the wagon. I will not fall off the wagon. I will not fall off the wagon. I will not fall off the wagon. I will not fall off the wagon. I will not fall off the wagon. I will NOT fall off the wagon. I will not fall off the wagon. I will not fall off the wagon. I will not fall off the wagon. I will not fall off the wagon. I will not fall off the wagon. I will not fall off the wagon. I will not fall off the wagon. I will not fall off the wagon. I will not fall off the wagon.

    Category Getting Real With Addiction, SCRAM, Scram Bracelet Diaries | Tags: ,,,,,,,,,,, | 3 Comments

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