The weekend is finally here and I have lots to catch you up on, but before I do…something happened to me last night that I have to tell you about. I have tried to write other posts about the exciting things that have happened over the past week, but I just can’t. I have to get this out first. I’m all about being “chronologically correct” (did I just make that up?), but this time I will just have to get over it. So here goes….
I have been a bit under the weather this week. Everyone around me has gotten a case of the crud and it was just my turn. The biggest, most annoying symptom is my sinuses. You don’t realize how nice it is to be able to breathe until you can’t! When you can’t breathe, you can’t sleep and when you can’t sleep, you can’t focus during the day. It really stinks! Oh, which reminds me…I can’t smell either! I can’t enjoy my food because I can’t taste it. Oh, I am just so pitiful! I won’t bore you or gross you out with all the details, but let’s just say I’ve gone through quite a few tissues! Finally Friday came and I was ready to rest, but I STILL couldn’t breathe. Nothing I’ve tried has helped me. All of the great stuff that typically clears me up hasn’t worked.
The sweet girl who is renting our Tennessee condo is studying to be a Nurse Practitioner got wind of my situation and recommended that I try Mucinex with Sudafed. She recommends that a lot to her patients, has had great results with it, and gave me strict instructions. I would need to go to a pharmacy to get it. She instructed me to ask the pharmacist for this miracle cure. It is one of those lovely medicines that, thanks to the peeps who think they are chemists and like to make Meth, is now kept behind the counter…..
I’m sure you can see where this story is going….but if you can’t, I’ll just tell you because I’m still fuming….DOWNHILL! Downhill is where this story is going.
As soon as I had gotten home from work, I washed my face, changed into comfy clothes, and crawled into bed. I looked sick, I felt terrible, I was feverish, I just needed to be able to breathe and get some rest. When I got the recommendation for this wonderful cure, I rolled out of bed and my mister & I headed for the store. There I was, mismatched clothes, cropped pants & hoodie with flip flops, bed head, no makeup, watery eyes, chapped lips….I was absolutely breath-taking!! I didn’t care, I was on a mission. I walked into Rite Aid, greeted the nice girl at the front cash register and headed straight for the Pharmacy. I approached the counter and the woman asked if she could help me. I told her I needed Mucinex with Sudafed (just as I had been instructed). Her response?????? “I’m sorry but we’re not selling any more of that tonight.” WHAT??? “Yes, I’m sorry, but the pharmacist has already said he’s done selling it for today and he’s just not fooling with it.” WHAT??? My miraculous cure was within my eyesight, it was going to make me able to BREATHE again and get the much needed rest I so needed……and THIS SNOT NAZI was keeping it from me!!! I just could not believe my ears! I couldn’t believe what she was telling me. I thought this has got to be a joke!
My mister was dumbfounded. I was fuming. I was headed back to the front of the store to exit, thinking I would just go over to good ol Walmart. The nice girl that I greeted as I walked in acknowledged me as I was leaving, telling me to have a good evening. AHA! THIS was my opportunity to blow the whistle on those awful pharmacy peeps! I told her that I had a problem and proceeded to tell her what I had just been told. The look on her face said it all….exactly what I was thinking…..WHAT??? This is the most bizarre thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life! That’s what I was thinking, and clearly that was the expression on her face! She apologized to me and proceeded to call back to the pharmacy and spoke with the awful pharmacy peeps, looking for answers. She hung up the phone and sent me back to the pharmacy. Needless to say, my mister had not expected me to make such a stink….but wouldn’t you?
When I went back, the original woman was hiding between the drug shelves and the pharmacist was now at the counter. “Can I help you?” I explained that I was the one looking for the Mucinex with Sudafed. (as if he didn’t already know…) He asked which one I wanted….was there more than one kind?? Oh I was so frustrated! I explained to him that my friend who is a nurse practitioner instructed me to get Mucinex with Sudafed. It is kept behind the counter, you have to ask the pharmacist for it. She tells patients all the time to get it and she has had great results with it. AND THAT’S THE ONE I NEEDED.
He was not very warm and fuzzy. He did not apologize, rather he explained that he had told the woman that if they get anyone at the counter asking for this medication, who has “METH MOUTH…you know, where all their teeth are rotting out” (really, that’s exactly what he said!), that she should refuse to sell it to them. It then occurred to me….she saw my Scrammy and judged me. How could I have missed this. Now I was MAD! I had a small temper tantrum right there at the pharmacy counter. “I may be a drunk driver (pointing to my Scram), but I do NOT do Meth!” Yeah, I said it. I didn’t just SAY it, I ANNOUNCED it. The kleenex in my hand was NOT a prop! Mortified, I think my mister was hiding in the Tylenol aisle.
*Now, let me just clarify…I have always had my regular 6 month cleanings at the dentist. I have always gone to top notch dentists who use only the finest, most current technology. EVERY tooth that ever was in my head is 100% accounted for. They are STRAIGHT and they are WHITE. I have no dark fillings, only the tooth colored ones for the few that I do have. I have always been complimented on my smile, in fact I feel that it is one of my assets….can you tell I’m mad? When I open my mouth, NOTHING would lead you to suspect I would do anything with some Mucinex with Sudafed but clear my head of SNOT*
With my purchase in hand, I walked to the front of the store to leave. The nice girl who helped me asked if I got what I needed. I told her yes and that perhaps next time, that lady will not pass judgement on people. She looked horrified. I was horrified.
So of course, being me, I called my mom to tell her what had just happened. I was looking for my cheerleader, an Oh Britton! THEY DIDN’T!, I was expecting her to share in my anger and disbelief, my feelings of wrongful judgement and discrimination. I told her I was so mad I could BLOG! The reaction I sought from my mother was not the one I heard on the other end of the telephone line. First she advised me not to write about it tonight…..wait until in the morning when you are clearer headed, was her instruction to me….isn’t my mom so cool? I’m really glad I listened.
My mom was not surprised by my experience and maybe neither are you. I mean, maybe as I was telling you my story you wondered why I would go in to buy a “controlled substance” with my CRIMINAL BELT plainly displayed for all to see. I wasn’t thinking of that. Blonde moment, or perhaps just too sick to care. I didn’t expect that I would be turned away from buying cold medicine because Scrammy was visible. I didn’t expect to be judged as a hardened criminal, a home chemist, a meth user. I mean, sure…I like to cook, but Meth is not in my repertoire.
My mom identified with the woman…the woman who was hiding between the drug shelves when I went back….She said that with Scrammy showing, people don’t necessarily know what that is or why it is there…they just know I broke the law. I did SOMETHING wrong. She reiterated that there are so many people with BAD intentions, that they HAVE to protect themselves. She reminded me that this was one of the risks I knew I was taking when I chose to let Scram show. My mom mentioned that I was cautioned at the Walk Like MADD event that people may not be very nice to me when they see my Scram. Darnit, why does my mom have to be so dang smart, so logical at a time like this….a time when I want her to be mad with me. I guess that’s what parents are for….to help provide clarity….and I know she’s right. Y’all, I’m pretty sure my mom just slapped me….with reality!
On the bright side, I feel like a million bucks! That Mucinex with Sudafed was well worth the hassle….AND gave me a good story for you!
The next time my mom calls, asks what I’m doing, I think I’ll casually say….”Oh you know, just cookin up some meth….”
Bad joke? Maybe.