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Posts Tagged ‘Mothership’

  1. The Highlight of My Day

    June 16, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    …. awaited me in my mailbox…..





    If you can’t read it, it says “Remember these things….you are talented, you are needed, you are valued, you are loved.”





    “Sometimes we just need someone to tell us, so I’m telling you–and I mean it with all my heart. Love – Mom”Awww!

    What a great mom! (See, told ya she loves me….A LOT!) And I’ll tell you what makes her even more great….there was a check in that card! She told me that she wanted to pay my very last Scram payment for me. Seriously??? YAHOOO!! That is just so sweet!

    My superheroes at the mothership (also known as John and Gabriele) called me for my payment Thursday. I missed their call, but “Robin” left me a voicemail to say that he and “Batwoman” were calling for my last payment and that I could reach them at the “bat cave”. HA! I just love those two!! They have truly earned their super hero status.

    Since my mom’s check hadn’t come yet, she just called my Gabriele and made a phone payment. They had a lovely conversation! My mom even asked my Gabriele if she was wearing her super hero cape :)

  2. Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag, Gabriele!

    May 18, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    Today is a really special day. Do you want to know why?
    Because it’s my Gabriele‘s birthday!! I happened to talk to her sidekick at the mothership today and he told me it was her special day. Did you know that my fabulous Gabriele has a sidekick? Yup, she sure does! They are like Bat(wo)man and Robin, but they are my real life Scrammy superhero duo! “Robin” called me today because he needed to clarify my card number for my next to last Scram payment!! Only ONE more payment left, I can hardly believe it!! Before I know it, Scrammy and I will be saying goodbye to one another…..what a bittersweet thought.

    We had our own little birthday celebration for Gabriele tonight at our house! She was here in spirit….we even had her birthday cupcakes on my GERMAN Rosenthal dessert plates! It was special :) Gabriele is special to me.

    My philosophy on unpleasant situations, or having to do things you don’t necessarily want to do… stop drinking, learn some lessons, wear something around your ankle that irritates your skin, itches, and makes dirty noises….it is all about your attitude. I had a good attitude AND I was lucky enough to have some really wonderful people helping me along the way in my Scram Journey.

    Really, though I have some great people looking after me and Scrammy. Let’s see, we have Gabriele and her sidekick, Pecharelyse from the Sheriff’s Department, Kathleen from AMS, all of you awesome Scrammers who have shared your stories with me, Joe Neighbor, the awesome peeps at, Missy from and her AWESOME public service announcements about drunk driving (see my sidebar), my family, my mister, my rockstar attorney, my twitter peeps…….lots of great peeps! Everyone has been amazing!! THANK YOU!!! (And if I missed anyone, which I know I missed at least someone, my memory is horrible, but you ARE appreciated!!!!)

    Oh, and speaking of dirty noises… I told you before, my Scrammy is getting loud. Real loud. It’s kind of embarrassing. It sounds like a duck…..and you know what else sounds like a duck, don’t you? Farties! Basically I go around making obscene noises every 30 minutes, but without any odor….and people probably think I eat lots of beans and have little control of my faculties. Thanks, Scrammy!

    But, have no fear, for it’s Gabriele to the rescue once again!  Here she comes to save the day….Gabriele is on her way! - sung to the tune of the Mighty Mouse theme song – (Okay, now she has earned a cape…with sequins of course AND a super hero song!)

    When we spoke yesterday, she first informed me that I have the Special Edition Scram Bracelet… know, the one that makes animal noises! After we finished roaring with laughter, she asked me about the noise and said that if it had become too loud or bothered me, she could send a new Scram to the man who changed my battery and we’d see if he would just swap it out. Wasn’t that nice of her? She’s awesome! I told her let’s hold off for now, but I appreciate her suggestion and will definitely let her know if and/or when I am ready to take her up on her offer.

    Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag Gabriele!

    (Did I say that right? I hope so!)

  3. Scram Friends

    May 11, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    Happy Thursday, y’all!

    I am so jazzed about all of you Scrammers out there who have contacted me! Who knew there were so many of us, right? It sure is nice to know we’re not alone in this.

    Do you let your Scram show or am I the only one? So far, most of you have told me you keep your Scram hidden. Nothing wrong with that :) I just chose not to. It’s too stinkin hot for pants AND how boring would this blog be if I wasn’t conducting a “social experiment” and collecting stories to entertain you with?

    One of my fabulous Scram friends sent me pictures of her Scram bracelet….she has bedazzled hers too! She has since gotten it off, but never let it show when she had to wear it. I guess you could say this is her big debut….

    Aren’t they fun little Scrammy ‘outfits’? I just love her style!

    Hers looks just like mine!

    She has graduated from Scram now and was on the portable breath-alyzer for a little while….this guy:

    I didn’t know about this little device, but I am told that it has a camera so that the Mothership can see exactly who is blowing into the device. Pretty cool technology, huh!

    If you have a Scram, send me a picture! Are you a bedazzler? I want to see!

    I just love hearing from you! It is so nice to know there are lots of us out there.

    When we were at the Cheesecake Factory this weekend, my mister thought he spotted a girl with a Scrammy…she was in a dress and had this black thing around her ankle. Oh, I was SO excited! Then I was let down…it turns out it was a pair of good ol’ gladiator sandals. Bummer!

    We were out looking at cars the other day. I really liked this little Fiat, but everyone else thinks it’s silly looking. I think it’s rather cute!

    My mister & I and several of the car sales peeps were standing around checking out this little beauty when one of them said “You know, Charlie Sheen has one of these in his house.” To which I replied “Yeah, Charlie Sheen and I have a lot in common.” No one got it but me and my mister….until I hiked up my pant leg, and THEN they all got the joke!

     Have you seen Charlie Sheen’s Fiat commercial? His Scram bracelet is so small. It is definitely a fake.

    “House Arrest”….I suppose his is just a tracking device, so maybe it really does look like that.

    We went out for pizza tonight. The restaurant was literally called “Fabulous”….our son decided that it should really be named “Mediocre”…..he’s funny and he’s right! There’s nothing worse than soggy pizza, yuck!

    Send me your Scrammy pictures, Scrammers!!

    Psssst…..I’m 115 days sober!

  4. Bellybutton Lint

    April 30, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    How perceptive are you?

    Do you notice anything?

    (Besides the fact that I need a pedicure and probably a good shave…and clearly these are my favorite flip flops!)

    Ok wait….let me get in the tub….now look….do you see it? Do you know what’s different???

    Come on….think, y’all!

    Scrammy jumped from my RIGHT leg to my LEFT leg!! How, you may ask?

    Remember how I told you I had LOTS of exciting things to catch you up on from the week? Thursday I got a call from my lovely, AMAZING, fabulous, FANTASTIC Gabriele…at first, I kind of panic a little bit when I see that she’s calling because I wonder if there is a problem at the Mothership. Well, she had bad news and good news for me….the bad news was I have finally gotten the low battery alert that we’ve been waiting for. The GREAT news is that my Gabriele already had someone here in MY town lined up to take care of changing my battery! I just love it when someone can bring you a problem AND the solution all at once…softens the blow!! That means she saved me a 500 mile trip to Tennessee….and then 500 miles back home. (That’s a lot of miles for a battery change.) I think Gabriele just earned her superhero cape, don’t you?

    Gabriele’s phone call came in the morning, so I was able to just go have the “procedure” during my lunch time. My mister and I had already made plans to have lunch together, so I just told him to meet me at the Georgia Probation office instead….Georgia Probation Office….isn’t that scary? As it turns out, it wasn’t scary at all. The nice man that Gabriele contacted was waiting for me when we got there. Actually, he was dealing with one of the criminal peeps he has to keep up with. He looked like he was quite finished with their conversation, but she wanted to keep talking. She finally left and it was MY TURN! I asked if he was the one who had spoken with my Gabriele. He said I had the right guy and we were on our way back to his office to take care of Scrammy!

    I was really glad my mister was with me. His favorite thing in the whole wide world is asking questions….about EVERYTHING! I think even Socrates, the great thinker and master question-asker himself would probably feel like ringing my mister’s neck! I don’t always have answers for his many questions, so I was happy he was there, at the source, to go to town with questions. Of course he only really asked ONE…and I already knew the answer. The question: can I put lotion on my dry, irritated skin under Scrammy? The answer is NO, just as I suspected. Our new Scram friend explained that one of his criminal peeps is also on SCRAM and that she applied lotion to the area and it detected alcohol or some other funky reading. He said that he gave her a breathalyzer, so he knew it wasn’t that she had consumed alcohol. Basically we need to keep any type of foreign substance away from the area under and around Scrammy….except Dove soap. Scrammy loves to stay clean and LOVES Dove bar soap! I have gotten Dove bar soap all up in Scrammy’s business and never had a problem reported to me. Dove bar soap gets 2 thumbs up!!

    Our new Scram buddy got out his tools, the new battery, and was ready to go to work.

    Here are the special tools used to take Scrammy apart.

    This is the new battery and various other of Scrammy’s “Bits & Pieces”

    I didn’t realize that in order to change my battery, they would have to take Scrammy completely off, but they did. Oh how great it felt to be able to rub my skin where it had been sitting for the past 90 days!

    What a relief! It felt so “FREEING” to have it off for a few minutes. I just kept rubbing & scratching my Scram-free skin. It felt so good!

    Ta Daaa! Here it is….

    I asked my new Scram buddy if we might be able to switch legs….in order to give my right one a break. He said he would need to check with Gabriele, but he didn’t see why it would be a problem. As it turned out, my Gabriele was unavailable at the time, probably off helping some other Scrammer in need…because she’s just that awesome….so our new friend evaluated the area of my skin where I’d been wearing the bracelet and made an executive decision to go ahead and put Scrammy on my left leg.

    Before Scrammy’s bits & pieces were put back in their place, I was able to get up close and personal…..and look who had lint in their bellybutton….hehehe

    Sorry Scrammy, I hope I didn’t embarrass you!

    Before we were done, we needed to be sure the Mothership knew Scrammy was ready to go and safely back on my leg.

    They attached this device so I guess you could say that the “junior Mothership” was officially tapping in to the Big-Mutha Mothership.

    The entire “procedure” didn’t take long and before we knew it, we were saying goodbye to our new friend. Who, by the way, said he would be happy to take my Scram OFF when the time comes! AWESOME!!! Those Scram peeps sure have been good to me :) I am looking forward to seeing him again in about 86 ish days! (If I am allowed…..gotta clear this stuff with “the powers that be”)

    Thursday wasn’t just a great day for Scrammy, it was a great day for Sir Higgins. He had a birthday to celebrate!

    Sir Higgins turned 4 years old on Thursday!!

    For Fletcher’s birthday, we had Ice Dream and it was a HUGE hit.

    Now that it was Higgins’ big day we loaded the boys in the car and headed to Chick-fil-A for a special birthday Ice Dream…..

    As we headed down the road, I told Higgins where we were headed…and he was SO very excited! He was SO excited in fact, that he couldn’t help but lick his lips in anticipation of that cold, sweet treat….

    So off we were to the Chick-fil-a drive thru, and with that yummy sweet treat in our possession, we were quickly headed home….we had a birthday party to throw!

    Our birthday boy enjoyed his special treat so much, it was a GREAT 4th birthday party at our house!

    (Don’t worry, Fletcher got an Ice Dream too! He loved it!!)

  5. Socks Or No Socks??

    April 1, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    If this girl was blonde, she would have been me this week. GRUMPY! Thank goodness for Scrammy, because otherwise I would have drank for sure! (But I definitely wouldn’t have driven anywhere!)

    How was your week? I hope your attitude was better than mine.

    I was so happy when Friday was finally here.

    What a wonderful message for a Friday! I loved it and wanted to share it with you :) I love all things positive. There is so much negative in our lives that I like to put extra focus on the positive stuff.

    Scrammy has been really itchy lately. It’s not very cool at all. I feel like I need Calamine Lotion or something! My skin is getting irritated and I wish I knew if I could put something on it.

    I can’t help it. I scratch and scratch and scratch. My mister fusses at me when I scratch, but I just can’t help it.

    Here’s the red, inflamed, itchy spot under Scrammy….try to overlook the lovely leg stubble

    Yeah, it feels great.

    I am always learning new things from my fabulous fellow Scrammers. A recent comment  now has me a bit paranoid again.

    Gaye says:

    So, I was arrested when my SCRAM showed I was tampering with it for over a day early this week. PLUS, it showed 2 spikes of alcohol in my system, as well. The gal who runs the program for the bracelets did let me go home, as she explained that actual spikes in the body do not occur on a graph. It may spike up, but it is reduced gradually on a graph. This being said, she mentioned 3 times to put a sock over it. So, I shower, then IMMEDIATELY put a sock over it. This prevents any type of alcohol in a spray, etc to get on it, PLUS it keeps it tight to the skin, which prevents a FALSE TAMPERING!! (Needless to say, I still obtained an additional day to my “time”). BS, but not going to pay the attorney so much more money to fight an extra day at home.


    Oooh, what a scary story! Sounds like Gaye is also on house arrest as well as the Scramx Alcohol Monitoring System?

    Perhaps I have become too comfortable. I spray hair spray without covering Scrammy and maybe I’ve just been lucky. I try to run out of the room quickly after I spray so that it doesn’t bother Scram. So far, so good.

    I do not wear socks that cover or protect Scrammy, but according to Gaye’s Scram lady, it is highly advised. Somehow, the thought of wearing socks in this heat makes me want to move to Alaska for the next 114 days. Also, I refuse to give up my flip flops. I would definitely have to get these:

    These are super hot!

    Is Scrammy THAT super sensitive? I sure hope not. I just want the next 114 days to go by smoothly. For now, I will not wear socks. What do y’all think? Good idea? Bad idea? Oh dear, this is so complicated! Socks will NOT go with the cute heels I wear to work every day. Oh boy, I may really have to rethink my wardrobe…..HELP!

    Scrammy has been doing some strange and unusual things lately…..such as dialing in to the mothership and letting the aliens read my bracelet at odd times.  As you might recall, Gabriele and I set it up so that Scrammy would dial in to the Mothership every night/morning at 3 am while I am sleeping. (When Scrammy’s modem beside my bed connects to the “Mothership” as I call it, it reads the bracelet and Scrammy “dumps” all of the readings it has taken throughout the day….readings are taken every 30 minutes 24 hours a day, every day.)

    The first time I noticed this happening at an abnormal time of day was when I was getting ready in the morning. I had just dried my hair and sprayed my coif with LOTS of hairspray….Texas style big hair, y’all! I walked out of my bathroom and into my bedroom and I spotted the red light. Immediately I called Gabriele and she wasn’t there! I explained to the nice man on the phone that it is scheduled to dial in at 3 am and that I had just sprayed hairspray and I hoped that it didn’t trigger Scrammy to dial in. He said it is fine, no big deal, nothing to worry about. Today, it happened again. It freaks me out when I see that red light and “Reading Bracelet” is displayed across the screen when it isn’t 3 am.


    Did you hear about Lindsay Lohan??? Her probation is over!! Congratulations, Lindsay! I hope that she has the strength to make better decisions from this point forward…..hopefully she will heed the judge’s advice and focus on her career.