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Posts Tagged ‘Scram Myths’

  1. Bittersweet Endings, Happy New Beginnings

    July 22, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    Good Morning and Happy Sunday! Sir Higgins woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning. His beard is messy, but I always say the messier the beard, the better the sleeep! Clearly he had a VERY restful night sleep!

    Sunday has always been my preparation day. I prepare myself and my family for the week ahead. This week is a BIG week! Probably the biggest week of the past 6 months! Today I am going deep into the archives of my closet and I will pull out all of my business skirts and professional dresses!!!!  Hello White House/Black Market wardrobe! Oh how I’ve missed you, my Antonio Melani suits!

    I am going to have my toes all fancied up and painted.

    My bathtub will now be transformed back into a bathtub, rather than a giant clothes hamper!

    (Guilty as charged. Don’t tell my mother in law!)

    Seriously though, I had to put it to some other use…every time I looked over at it, I was just taunted by it.

    My son has asked and asked again what day is the BIG day. He is as excited as I am! He told me he has Tuesday off of work….I can’t help but think that this is more than just a coincidence. (That just warms my heart!) AND he wants to go with me! I am thinking about having him video the removal for you all to see, but I will just see how the morning goes and what the situation is like…and if my new local Scram lady is a good sport. I have to say, this whole staffing change sure has thrown my retirement party for a loop. I had big plans, but now that I am going in to meet someone brand new, I just don’t know how she’ll react. She doesn’t know me. She doesn’t know about my documenting this whole experience.

    Listen, Lady…..I am not your run-of-the-mill criminal. This is not your typical ho-hum Scram bracelet removal. This will not just be “another day at the office”, I can assure you. 

    I just wish Matt, the guy who changed my battery and traded my noisy Scram out for my new quiet one, could have just stayed working there until it was time to have my release.

    Now if that’s not selfish of me, I don’t know what is. But come on….PRIORITIES, PEOPLE!!!

    My Scram skin is so nasty. Sometimes it itches and itches….and I scratch and scratch and SCRATCH AND SCRATCH….until I am bloody (ew). I can’t help it though. It feels amazing to scratch! Kind of like chicken pox. (Yes, I come from the generation of kids who actually got the chicken pox. We did not get a vaccination. It was a rite of passage.)

    Let the healing begin!!

    This week I will make my final 2 calls to Pecharelyse….After that, we won’t start our mornings off  together three days a week with our brief little exchange any more. It is kind of sad. What will become of her? Does she miss hearing from me the 2 days of the week that I don’t have to call her? I wonder if she thinks of me as endearingly as I think of her, or if I am just another one of the many criminals she has to talk to every day. Maybe our morning “conversations” don’t mean as much to her as they do to me. Who knows. Maybe I’ll never know. I get sentimental over the dumbest stuff sometimes. Farewells are especially tough for me. What will become of my dear Gabriele and her sidekick John, my superheroes extraordinaire? Will the future Scrammers treat them well? I sure hope so…..wait, they BETTER! Will Batwoman and Robin miss calling to take my money? Will they still think of me from the Bat Cave? Oh dear, as Scarlett O’Hara would say….

    “I can’t think about that right now. I’ll think about that tomorrow”.

  2. Southern Fried Catfish

    July 21, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    We went someplace new for our weekly Friday night dinner out on the town last night. Note to self….never let your mister choose the restaurant. Especially if you’ve never been there!

    First of all, it was a Buffet. THAT alone screams “NOoooo, DON’T DO IT!!”

    This place advertised down home southern style food. (Clue number 2!)

    When we walked in, it was wall to wall carpet. (Clue number 3…I have a thing about carpeted restaurants. Sometimes when we are choosing a restaurant and my mister asks where I want to go, I say simply “anywhere that isn’t carpeted”…sure wish I’d gone with that this time)

    When we ordered our beverages, I asked for a coke and was told they only have water, tea, and lemonade. (Clue number 4!) I told her I wanted tea, half and half. Now, normally when I go to a restaurant and tell them this, they come out with half sweet, half unsweet…..we live i the south, remember? Not this time! I thought the color looked funny and sure enough….half and half at this place meant half lemonade, half tea. Luckily I love a good Arnold Palmer so I was just as happy, although mystified.

    When I looked for a nice table for us to enjoy our dinner, everywhere I turned there was a metal bowl or bucket on the table, the chair, or sitting on the floor to catch water dripping from the ceiling. (Do we really need any more clues?? I mean, this was more than a clue, more like a….big flashing neon sign saying DON’T EAT HERE!) It was so gross!

    I was SUPER grossed out by the fried catfish….

    Maybe I have just never seen southern fried catfish before, but EW, was I grossed out! Of course this wasn’t the exact catfish they had….it was the best picture I could find that looked close to theirs. Theirs was ickier looking. I would’ve taken a picture while at the restaurant, but I don’t think the lady at the next table would have appreciated me photographing her plate. The fish on her plate still had the silver skin and fins on it and everything. The fins were sticking up off her plate. I was waiting for them to reach up and slap her in the face. You know how when you see a dead person in a casket and you know they are dead, but some part of you is just waiting for them to sit up and go “rawr”…..maybe I am the only one….well that’s like the catfish on the plate. I was waiting, almost expecting it to start flopping around, fins going everywhere…eventually slapping the lady in the face. It was so gross! Maybe I’ll go back JUST to photograph the catfish so you can see exactly what I ‘m talking about, since this picture that I found doesn’t even begin to describe it.

    (Sorry, all you fried catfish eaters out there….I have just never seen anything quite like this before.)

    That was the quickest Friday night family dinner out on the town we’ve ever had! We were in and out in no time! We practically RAN out of there!

    Sir Higgins has been really going to town on his favorite frisbees….

    We’ve had to take them away from them since he’s been biting chunks off. We definitely don’t need anymore $200 emergency vet bills. So, while I was wandering the aisles of Walmart today, I found him a brand new Higgins-proof frisbee! And he LOVES it!

    He loves it SO much, in fact, that he won’t even let me get a picture of him with it…I just barely got this one! And he won’t let his brother Fletcher play with it either.

    I have 2 phone calls to Pecharelyse and 2.5 days, a mere 60 hours before my release……I just can’t believe it!

    I didn’t get to go meet the lady here in town who will take off my Scram on Tuesday. That means my bracelet is STILL storing all of these readings….since LAST Friday! Crazy, huh! My Gabriele said that it would be okay. They will just download all of the readings when I go to have it removed. Apparently this new local Scram lady is a very busy person….always in court. Gabriele gave me strict instructions that I needed to be at the office Tuesday to have this lady remove my Scram before 8:30 am. I told my Gabriele I’d be there at 7:45 am if I have to! I am ready to be FREE!! My freedom doesn’t just mean that I can take a bath with 2 legs in the water, it also means that the CHOICE to remain sober is all mine.

    Looking back at this entire experience, it hasn’t been all that bad. Especially since YOU have been here with me every step of the way! (THANK YOU!)

    When I learned that I was going to have to live with the Scram Bracelet for 6 months, I was in a state of fear, especially after I began researching the “do’s and don’ts”, the “what can happens” and the general tips of the trade. Unfortunately there is not much out there and most of it will make you crazy. It was for this reason, that I decided I would document my own journey and experiences through “scram-hood”. My sole intention was to share with others the TRUTH about life with Scram as I experienced it, to share with you what daily life was like wearing the Scram Bracelet. I wanted to become a subject-matter expert on the Scram Alcohol Monitoring Bracelet…and I feel pretty confident that I am darn near close by now!

    I have tried to make things interesting for you, but honestly my experience with Scram has been quite uneventful. The S.W.A.T. team never showed up…..not once! I have not had a “Tamper” reading. I have not had a “you’ve consumed alcohol” alert (probably because not a drip or a drop of alcohol has gotten anywhere near my face since January 15, 2012).

    I have had my hair colored many times, worn TONS of hairspray (Texas style, remember?? Big Hair BIG HAIR is BEST!), had many manicures and pedicures, slept next to my husband after he has had several drinks, showered, walked on the beach, kayaked and guess what….no problems. Not one.

    I’m no one special. I have received zero “special treatment”. Bascially, my sweet fellow Scrammers….follow the rules, use your head, be kind to your Scram providers and you will be just fine. It’s not SO bad, so don’t be scared or worried. Try to learn something from this, as I have. If you have a problem, well now is the time to recognize it and get some help. If you don’t have a problem and you just made a bad decision well then don’t do it again! Don’t let your friends drink and drive. Be an example to them. Take a stand on drinking and driving! Use this experience as an opportunity to learn and grow, don’t waste it by being bitter and resentful that you are being punished. This is your perfect opportunity to make a difference in the lives of those around you. Your attitude and outlook on this will make it a positive experience or an absolutely miserable one. It is YOUR choice.

    Now that I am nearing the end of my Scram Journey, I look back and see how much I have grown and evolved. I see that my Journey has actually just begun. When I took my last drink on January 15, 2012 I didn’t realize it would be my last ever. I thought it would just be my last one until late July. I have so many people to thank.

    Dear God: Thank you for the much needed intervention. You definitely know what you are doing! Clearly you have plans for me or I wouldn’t still be here.

    Dear Officer Police Man, Sir:  Thank you for valuing my honesty. Thank you for not taking me to jail. Thank you for not letting me go, either. Thank you for coming to the scene of the accident so quickly. Thank you for sending me to the emergency room in an ambulance. That ride sure was more expensive than a taxi would have been.

    Dear Judge: Thank you for recognizing that I needed help. Thank you for not sending me to jail for 48 hours, or any jail at all. You must have known a.) they would have eaten me alive and b.) my problem was far bigger than simply a drunk driving offense.  Thank you for giving me six months of sobriety. I don’t know if and or when I would have gotten sober, had you not given me my Scram punishment. Thank you for giving my parents back their daughter, for never letting my new son see what a disaster I am capable of becoming, for allowing me to be honest with him while at the same time being a huge example for a young man about to turn 21 years old, and thank you for giving my husband a pretty dern cool wife  ….all because I’m sober! You have NO clue the gift you have given to me by “prescribing” the Scram Bracelet as my punishment.

    Dear Attorney: What can I say, you are a badass and so is your junior attorney, Jhasta! (I don’t know if that is what she is specifically called, but she is the one who actually went to court with me and spoke on my behalf. She was AWESOME every step of the way and calmed all of my many many fears.)

    <—–That’s Him, isn’t he cool lookin?! He kind of looks like he should live in Miami and be a plastic surgeon. Okay, maybe I’ve watched too much Nip/Tuck. He’s even more suave and intimidating looking in person, I promise!….he’s awesome!

    Thank you for knowing about the Scram Bracelet and using it as a “bargaining tool” in my case. Thank you for being so dang cool with such an unbelievable staff to support you so that you can continue to do what you do…and charge lots and lots of money for it so that I’ll never want to do it again even more! It was worth every penny of the money I am now paying back to my father. (THANK YOU DAD!)

    Dear BMW: Okay, you guys are a bunch of Bavarian geniuses. You make an amazing machine that is not only beautiful but is incredibly safe! I swear, I will never drink and drive again…..can I please have another one ? (Hey, if you don’t try you’ll never know!)

    Okay, I have tons more thank you messages to write, but for now I’ve got to go start dinner (NOT catfish!) before my boys get home so I’ll stop there and get going on my wifely/motherly duties.

  3. Lucy….You’ve Got Some ‘Splainin To Do!

    February 21, 2012 by Britton_Riley

            “If craving comes from the furnace of the addicted brain, then the fire in the          soul has to burn that much hotter.”

    - William Cope Moyers, Broken: My Story of Addiction and Redemption

    I am still reading this book and I continue to find it ever so inspiring. As I think about committing myself to indefinite sobriety, this quote really touched me and I wanted to share it with you. It describes so eloquently the drive and determination required to maintain sobriety.

    Happy Presidents Day!

    Did you have to work today? Did you go check the mail 3 times before you realized the mail doesn’t come today like I did? :)

    What a weekend we had! We went back to Tennessee in order to find a new occupant to rent the condo that we own and I’ll tell you what….I do believe we found the most perfect person! Whew, what a relief! We are new at this whole “landlord” thing.

    Round trip, we drove roughly 1.100 miles.

    Here’s the big loop we made:

    We spent a total of 17 hours in the car! Wowzers, that was a lot!

    The next time I go back to Tennessee will be to get a new battery for Scrammy and I will definitely be taking an airplane!

    Luckily the lovely lady who put Scrammy on me sent me home with this:

    That was so nice of her!

    So, if you have wondered “Can you travel on an airplane with SCRAMx?”

    The answer is unequivocally YES!

    This was the very first time Scrammy and I have traveled together since I have gotten all set up with The Mothership, so I knew I needed to consult with the lovely Gabriele in preparation for my trip. Her instructions were to take my modem with me so that I can manually “dump” daily. I knew we would be staying with A and that she didn’t have a home telephone line that I could connect to, so I had to do some creative thinking. Luckily, I found several people with home telephone lines who did not mind at all….plus it gave us time to visit together, which was an extra bonus!

    Saturday we were lucky enough to have a big reunion with lots of friends who are so special to us. It was so nice! Many of them hadn’t seen us since October at our wedding, so it was awesome to get to see them!

    When my crash happened in June, we were preparing for a wedding, a move, a honeymoon……all kinds of things were happening and changing. Needless to say this was not one of my finest moments, so we were very private about this tragic turn of  events and very few of our close friends and even most of our family did not have a clue that I had just cheated death and was facing a DUI charge.

    I mean, imagine it….here I am, planning this elaborate Fairy Tale dream wedding fit for a princess and then this gets out….”The bride is trying to worm her way out of a DUI….just wrecked that purdy BMW she drives”….(sorry, y’all, we live in the south) What would people have thought? That seems like a rather selfish thing to think, considering some innocent person could have lost their life that night.

    I guess the moral is that one decision which may seem small at the time can cause such a huge ripple effect. It can impact so many lives in so many ways, but when you are in the situation, you just don’t consider all of the things that can happen. My mister and I discussed this one night last week. I was writing my blog and he & I were talking about what I was writing about (He always wants to know if I have mentioned him. He feels like a celebrity!).

    Reflecting back on the severity of the entire situation, he looked at me and said “You could be dead right now.” I said I know and he asked if it bothers me, to which I responded “yes”. He then asked me how do I think he would have felt, how my parents would have felt. I can’t even begin to imagine. Being guilty in the past of drunk driving himself, he then said “But you don’t think about that stuff when you are in the moment, when you are ‘enjoying your friends and drinking’. You get all caught up in the party and the moment of drinking and when the party winds down, you get in the car and don’t think anything about it.”

    It is conversations like these that make me appreciate the crash. It has brought such an awareness, it has changed our habits and it has changed our lives. We got slapped with reality (and lots of really big BILLS!)


    So now here we are… Hooters (what can I say, they have great TV’s!), reuniting with our wonderful friends….I thought I was maintaining a low profile with my ice water with lemon when from across the table I hear “You’re not drinking??” Now mind you, the typical me would have been at least a pitcher of beer in by this time, so no wonder I got called out! I casually said no, and then the questions….they were convinced I was pregnant. Woah, folks! Slow down, hold the phone…we have been married only 4 months….but I do understand the suspicions. I walked over, hiked up my pant leg to expose Scrammy and said “This is why”. So, I formally introduced them to Scrammy!

    I explained everything and they wanted to know all the details of the crash, my punishment, how I didn’t get a DUI charge, how I didn’t get arrested, if I had a passenger, and all about Scrammy. It was once again my opportunity to hop upon my “Don’t Drink and Drive…this is what can happen” podium….with a fully engaged audience, I might add!

    I am not ashamed. I feel rather blessed to be able to sit before my peers and tell them that this is not acceptable behavior and there ARE consequences.

    I hope I made a difference.

  4. SCRAM: Dispelling The Myths

    February 5, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    (Originally Written and Posted January 29, 2012)

Scrammy is all jazzed up!!

    I am loving all of the feedback I am receiving! Your comments are awesome, so please keep them coming!

    When I found out that after negotiations with the District Attorney, it had been determined that I would be wearing the SCRAMx Alcohol Monitoring System for 6 months as part of my punishment, I had no idea what to expect. First I thought no sweat, don’t drink for 6 months, how hard can that be?! Easy breezy! Then I began searching the internet for any information I could get my hands on to try to prepare me for the next 6 months. Let me tell you, there is a lot of scary stuff out there! I now thought I would have to go through life for 6 months as “the girl in the bubble”, avoiding everything and anything that could possibly pose a threat to Scrammy. I read about SCRAM registering a “tamper alert” all the time, even in the middle of the night while someone was sleeping. I read where one person was arrested in the middle of their accounting class for a SCRAM violation. I even read where someone received a letter in the mail saying they needed to report back to court due to a SCRAM violation that they weren’t even aware of. All of these personal accounts of “false” tamper readings and such scared the crap out of me! I thought this was going to be the worst 6 moths of my life and that I would be walking around on eggshells, treating Scrammy as if it were a wound that needed to be handled ever so carefully.

    After only 5 days of Scrammy and LOTS of fantastic FACTUAL data from The Experts (aka Kathleen, who works for SCRAM and found my blog….can you say Heaven Sent?? She is my little SCRAMx Angel!) I am happy to report that this is definitely NOT the case at all!

    Here are some of the myths that Kathleen has graciously corrected for us:

    Can you put gas in your car without it going off? SCRAMx’s Kathleen says:

    Well no need to worry about pumping gas. In fact you should be able to do most of your normal daily activities while wearing SCRAMx. The issue is getting alcohol containing products (like your hairspray, a cleaning product, gasoline) right in the area of the bracelet. Pumping gas–not a problem. Pouring gas down your leg or on the bracelet–definite problem.

    Can I get near my husband if he has been drinking, is wearing cologne, or has put on lotion? SCRAMx’s Kathleen’s answer:

    We may get low readings if you’re in bed with your spouse, he’s had a lot to drink, so it’s good to be cognizant of that. Cologne and lotions on him, should not be a problem, even sleeping. Just be cautious about quantities of these products near the ankle/bracelet. Now, we can tell the difference between something environmental or topical and actual drinking/consumption. We confirm a drinking event based on ALL the data points from an entire event. The event has to have an absorption rate, a peak, and a burn off that meet our mathematical criteria of how the body will metabolize that alcohol. Something environmental will likely peak much faster than drinking ever would, and will evaporate much faster than the body could ever metabolize alcohol. However, many people, in an effort to mask a drinking event might pour something on the bracelet. We may still see the drinking within that event but might not be able to confirm it. As a result most jurisdictions define something like that as a violation–it’s like messing with your urine test.

    Now that is some major info, y’all! And it’s factual!! Right from the source! Thank you Kathleen!!! I do not have to live as Bubble Girl!!

    Mouthwash has alcohol in it. I can’t use it, right?

    Mouthwash–no worries! Gargle away! (Pouring it on the ankle/bracelet–well worry.) Even swallowing mouthwash shouldn’t be an issue UNLESS you drink enough to actually get drunk.

    What if I get sick. Cold medicine contains alcohol. Do I just have to suffer?

    Doesn’t matter if it’s vodka, vanilla extract, or cough syrup–alcohol is alcohol. But you would have to consume some pretty vast quantities of those things to start registering consumed alcohol….and if you do…well, you’re drunk.

    I just love her witty answers!

    And the final words of wisdom from Kathleen for my Scrammers:

    Rest easy, 80% of everyone who wears SCRAM has ZERO violations while they’re wearing it. None. Nothing. And they’re living daily life just like you are.

    Whew! What a relief! Bubble Girl be gone!! This means I will certainly be avoiding Bitten and Bound’s worst dressed list now that I know I won’t be sporting rubber gloves as a staple in my wardrobe!

    I have one more question for Kathleen. Since I will have to travel 450 miles to have Scrammy’s battery replaced when it dies, how will I know when it is getting ready to die? Just so I can be prepared. Any and all maintenance must be done by the Sheriff’s Department in Tennessee (which requires an 8 hour drive or an airplane).

  5. Bedazzled!!

    February 5, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    (Originally Written and Posted January 27, 2012)

I love that I live in a place where Palm Trees grow!

    It got up to 81 degrees here yesterday! I don’t think my days of wearing long pants to hide Scrammy will last long with temperatures like that.
Today I ordered these:

     I found them here! My husband asked why I needed these….my response was “Honey, while I have Scrammy, I have to clean in couture!” Luckily, Kathleen has informed me that through mathematical calculations, they can determine if I have actually consumed an alcoholic substance or if I have just gotten something on my skin. The paperwork I signed said that I agreed to stay away from household cleaners, so that is what I will do. It never hurts to be too careful. (Plus I will look super cute cleaning in these chic gloves!)

    So I finally did it….I started bedazzling Scrammy (cute, huh!)

To my fellow Scrammers: As much as we love our SCRAM, we definitely don’t want to have to purchase 2 of them….SO we must be very careful not to compromise the integrity of the unit as we jazz it up. I found these great restickable tabs at Walmart! (I got past the greeters without the alarm going off!) They promise not to leave any sticky residue behind, so it should not harm Scrammy in any way at all.

    We are planning to spend the day at Jacksonville Beach tomorrow and immediately I thought…CRAP! I won’t be able to dip my toes in the ocean. How sad!!! I may try to figure out a way to protect Scrammy so that I can at least walk in the sand.

    I was thinking today about something the judge said to me on Tuesday in the court room. He explained that to wear the SCRAMx bracelet is actually a privilege. It allows me (or people like me) to walk around in society in plain clothes, giving off the impression of “innocence”…..when in fact I am not innocent of this offense. I am walking around with “guilty” strapped around my leg, it is just that no one can see it. Interesting, thought provoking words! It makes me thankful for Scrammy!

My “Walk Like MADD” team is all set up!! Go here to join us!! Our team is called “Peeps for Penelope”. Just click on Join a team (on the right) and then search for our team. It is $20 to register and goes to a great cause.

    I am walking in memory of a friend named David Hudson. He was killed on December 13, 2007 while walking across the street by a 60 year old 4 time DUI offender (this made his 5th DUI offense) . David was only 27 years old and had such a bright future ahead. The driver’s blood alcohol level was reported to be 0.15……mine was 0.17 the night of my crash. That tree could have been another David Hudson. I am so ashamed that after the life of a young man was taken, a young man who was innocent, a young man who I had known since elementary school, a young man I called my friend ….I was stupid enough to do the very thing that took his innocent life and I am truly sorry.

    On March 23, 2012 I will celebrate the life of David Warner Hudson and all of the other victims of drunk drivers.

  6. Tapping In To The Mothership

    February 5, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    (Originally Written and Posted January 26, 2012) 

I wonder if the ladies at Bitten and Bound would write a fashion faux pas story if I added latex gloves to my wardrobe….which I may do, because I am really afraid to touch anything around the house for fear that I may accidentally touch something containing alcohol. (Household cleaners are a no-no listed on my sheet of ‘don’ts’)
In addition to Lindsay Lohan, other celebs who have been on SCRAM include Andy Dick and the singer Eve! I never realized how common this thing was!

Here is my direct line to the Mothership!

    It sits on my dresser beside my bed, ready and waiting for the aliens. You can’t see what the display says in the picture, but it has the day, time, and assuming it is behaving it says “monitoring”. That round button will blink red if there is a problem.

As soon as I got home, the lovely Gabriele helped me tap in to the Mothership…..and then she took lots of money from me just as I had expected. Gabriele and I are going to get to know each other very well over the course of  my 180 day sentence. She is about to find out just how high maintenance I am when I have to call her before each time I go to have my hair colored! Luckily she is awesome, enjoys my humor, and has a really cool German accent!

    We manually performed our first info “dump” to the Mothership and it went through without a glitch! Scrammy dumped 62 readings….wow, what a memory it has! (Sure could’ve use that in nursing school) It will be “dumping” (aka the aliens will be invading my bedroom as I sleep) every night at 3 am.

    I thought all was well, until this morning. The monitor was blinking red and the message said to “wake the bracelet up”….UH OH!! SO, as the ‘apt pupil‘ that I am, I followed the instructions and I am anxiously awaiting Gabriele’s expertise (it is too early to call her now and she told me to only call the after hours line if my leg catches on fire…turns out my Gabriele has quite a sense of humor!). I am confident that she can find the glitch, talk me through the troubleshooting, and put my mind at ease.
I wonder if something happened when I showered last night…(my first shower with Scrammy). What a scary experience that was! I  worried about getting too much water on it, that I would accidentally get water in it, that my shampoo or conditioner may have contained alcohol (I read all labels….the conditioner had the word alcohol in the ingredients, so I didn’t use it. Eeek, I can’t go 6 moths without conditioning!) After I dried it off, I thought “Oh dear, have I been too rough with Scrammy? Should I have patted to dry instead of going over it so vigorously?”….and then my husband pointed out the blinking red light as he was saying goodbye to me before heading to work this morning. Had the aliens lost their way last night when they were supposed to be invading my bedroom? Did the Mothership ever get the dump they were expecting at 3 am? Oh dear! GABRIELE, HELP!!

These are the sweet faces who greeted me when I got home! Fletcher & Higgins missed their mama!
Leaving a 37 degree Tennessee morning, coming home to a 78 degree South Georgia day was quite nice!! So happy to be home to my 3 boys!

    One question that arose, courtesy of my cousin was about pumping gas. Kathleen??? Is pumping gas going to interfere with the unit? Is it something I should avoid?

    Also, I know that I need to keep my distance from my husband if he has been drinking (for fear that some of his perspiration would get on my skin)…if he uses cologne or lotion (prohibited products for me), do I need to take the same precautions? Oh my! This is not cool for newlyweds!

  7. Getting Prepared For SCRAM

    February 5, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    (Originally Written and Posted January 24, 2012)


Here is my little list that I jotted down during breakfast with my mom today at Mimi’s Cafe (I love that place!!)…..on a napkin. Real official, huh? Not to worry, I will be rewriting it tonight with some of my husband’s thoughts added to it. Are you sure you can’t think of anything else that I should add?

    I just finished watching today’s episode of Dr. Phil. Did you see it? Wow, I have so much to say yet at the same time I am left speechless. It was called “Under the Influence”  and featured Kelli, who regularly drives impaired and until today, realized it was wrong but kept doing it anyway. I was able to identify with Kelly’s feelings of doubt that there is an alcoholism issue. She can go several days without drinking… can I. Most often, she drinks to intoxication….so did I. Waking up in the morning, not remembering driving home….so did I. Clearly, there IS a problem.

    Thankfully though, Dr. Phil told her that she is “on the road to disaster” and offered her the help she needs. She accepted. (YAY!!) I wish her all the luck in the world on her  new road….the road to recovery.
The other guest was the sister of Zac Hartwell (the young man who was also killed in the car when Ryan Dunn crashed back in June, 2011). She made a statement that really made an impact on me….”I’m angry because of the accident being senseless and so very avoidable”. SENSELESS and AVOIDABLE…..YES!

    I was reading a discussion board last night, in which one person was enraged by impaired drivers (rightfully so), explaining that the verbiage often used when describing a drunk driving episode is so incorrect and misleading. It is not an “accident”, rather it is a collision or crash. It is a choice. It was a choice to have those drinks, it was a choice to drive, and as a result, the innocent people around you are placed in danger. They do not get a choice in that, it is not your right to get in the car and drive.

    My mom was watching the show with me and made a comment that really upset me. She always tells me that she really hopes that this opened my eyes, but that she thinks I will probably do it again and that others agree. While this really made me mad (at first), I had to get real with the situation….statistically, the odds are stacked against me. Statistically, if someone gets one DUI (or nearly a DUI), there will be another. Most of the people I encountered at the substance abuse program I attended were on their 2nd offense or more….. All I can do is rely upon God, my family, friends, my experience, inner strength, and my continual research on the subject to support me in my quest to change my life…..FOR GOOD, not just until the SCRAM bracelet comes off.

    For all of my friends and family who like to enjoy an adult beverage from time to time, you’ll be happy to know that you can expect one of these from me for your birthday or Christmas, whichever comes first! (Aren’t these GENIUS? Everyone should have one in their car!) Do you hate arguing with a drunk about whether or not they are okay to drive? The next time anyone says “No really, I’m fine to drive…dude, I only had a few and I have a really high tolerance” we can find out for sure with this great little gadget!! I am sure they will thank me later….and so will everyone else.
I sure hope I can sleep tonight.

    Countdown Continues….13 hours, 31 minutes

  8. Fact or Fiction??

    February 5, 2012 by Britton_Riley

(Originally Written and Posted January 21, 2012)


A little pampering before the BIG DAY

(Notice her ring…just like the one Prince William gave to Kate Middleton, SO chic!)
My best friend “S” and I went to have pedicures today and boy was it nice just sitting there being pampered and chatting it up with her!! I thought I should have my feet looking their best since they are getting ready to be a focal point. Not to mention, whoever puts that bracelet on is bound to appreciate a fresh pedi!

    *Just a side note…when I talk about my best friend, S she will always be referred to in PINK because I think PINK is a fabulous color and I think that S is fabulous and every time I think of her, I THINK IN PINK.…and it is her signature color! Everyone should have a little S and a little Pink in their life – that’s what I know!

    Our fancy feet under the dryer!

Don’t our toes look so pretty???

    S likes to paint her toes fun colors. Hers are a very vibrant shade of blue and mine are OPI “Meep Meep Meep” from their Muppets Collection…wouldn’t it be fun to work for OPI making up names for nail polish?  (Well, maybe for a day)

After our pamper sesh, we did some shopping and S thought the mall smelled like a big fartie. It seems we kept walking into steaming brown clouds of butt hole blow-out, first in the food court, then walking back from Belk! Shewie!! (And since we are on the subject, did you know that there is such a thing as a “fart thesaurus”??) ….but I digress…

 I started writing my list of questions to ask “the powers that be” about my limitations with the bracelet.

    Here’s what I KNOW:

    1. The bracelet CAN’T get wet (gee, how will I bathe (?) and no swimming this summer…*waahh*)

    2. I CAN’T wear perfume (see ya, Narcisso Rodriguez….)

    3. There are “some” lotions I will not be able to use (so long, Shea Cashmere)

    Here’s what I’ve HEARD:

    1. If my husband has been drinking, he can’t kiss me  (I hope this is FICTION)

    2. If my husband has been drinking, it is best that we not sleep in the same bed – in case any of his perspiration gets on me, it will have traces of alcohol in it and make my bracelet go off (since the SCRAM bracelet monitors for alcohol through the skin 24 hours a day)

    3. It is NOT possible to “fool” the unit by placing a piece of bologna in between “it” -the unit- and my skin. (I DON’T plan to test this, but apparently someone has….and they must have wanted a drink REALLY bad…….)

    4. It is a huge pain in the heinie and goes off even when you aren’t doing anything wrong…for instance, in the middle of the night when you are sleeping (this is my biggest fear!)

    Now for MY questions:

    1. Using mouthwash is out of the question, even if I don’t swallow right? (I’d better brush REALLY well and maybe even buy one of those tongue scrapers…I want to ensure fresh kisses for my husband)

    2. What about deodorant? Is that a no no too? (if so, peeeuuuwww!! I guess it won’t matter how clean my breath is, my husband won’t want to get near me!)

    3. The key ingredient in hairspray is alcohol! (So does this mean the end of Texas-style big hair for me? *oh no!*)

    4. Nail polish remover…..household cleaners….what CAN’T I touch???

    5. Can I get into a tanning bed? How about a spray tan??

    6. Does the unit make noise? If it would for some reason go off, will I know it? Will there be an audible alert? Will the S.W.A.T team show up at my door in full-on gear, cuff me & stuff me and haul my little tail off to prison and throw away the key?? OR Will I just get a letter in the mail that I need to report back to court for violating the probation? How would I prove that I am innocent, that I DID NOT in fact try to fool the system….oh geez, I’m getting stressed just thinking about it!

    7. I am super creative, so I was thinking about trying to make a mini shower cap for it….is it water resistant, meaning it just can’t be submerged or do I have to protect it from water with my LIFE ??

    8. So what exactly constitutes “tampering”??

    9. Can I get on an airplane?

    10. Can I go away for the weekend? (we have been invited to spend a weekend in West Palm Beach, Florida in February and I REALLY want to go!)

    SO that is the list I’ve come up with so far. Can YOU think of anything I have forgotten? Is there anything you want to know about the unit….because I will totally add it to my list and ask! I am thinking I will probably be in their office for a VERY long time that day. I wonder if they will give me a list of common household products I should stay away from.

    Like I said, this is truly a Journey into the Unknown!
Countdown Continues…..3 Days, 13 Hours

    * I get to see my dear friend A tomorrow and I am SO excited! She is going to teach me a bit about blogging………she is the blogging QUEEN! Y’all should really visit her site, here. Bitten and bound is amazing…and is chalk full of juicy info about celebs!!

  9. With Each Bad Decision Comes…..Consequences

    February 5, 2012 by Britton_Riley

    (Originally written and posted on
January 20, 2012)


Look what I pulled out of my fortune cookie! I think I will hang on to this one…..I just love the optimism!

    So, I bet you are wondering…..”Well?? Did she get charged with a DUI or not?” First let me start by telling you that not only is drinking and driving a bad idea because of the things we have already discussed (i.e. risk of taking an innocent life, totaling your car, disappointment from your family, insurance claims…..), it is a TERRIBLE idea in the interest of your bank account. A cab ride, while some complain of the cost, is FAR less expensive than the DUI route. As soon as I composed myself, I contacted “THE” DUI attorney in town. He has quite a reputation. (He also has a scary name….very intimidating.) After getting all of the details, he broke the news….it was going to cost me $8750, UP FRONT before we could proceed. Since I knew this would not be a lesson I would have to learn more than ONCE and that he was the best, I knew I had to hire him, no matter the cost….I would FIND a way to come up with this money STAT.…and I did….and I will be pleading guilty to RECKLESS DRIVING, Class B Misdemeanor.
The cost of my rock star fabulous attorney  just scratched the surface on the cost of my little “planting party” . I enrolled in a 9 week substance abuse program, which I attended for 2 hours, one evening a week. Let me tell you, when you are in a new town this is NOT the place that you want to try to make new friends. While my classmates were very nice, some very entertaining, I do not believe I will be meeting any of them at Starbuck’s for coffee and a chat any time soon. Total cost of the class: about $400
It was also agreed that I would complete 10 hours of community service as part of my punishment. I went to Second Harvest Food Bank, which was actually very interesting as I didn’t really know much about this particular organization. Because my mother is SO supportive, she decided she would do most of my community service WITH me!!! Can you believe that? I was there for community service (because I was fulfilling the requirements of a punishment) and she was there because she wanted to serve her community (because that is the kind of wonderful citizen she is!). So together we sorted through cans and boxes of food, folded clothes, and organized  shelves for two days. It was a really great experience and I plan to go back even when I don’t “have” to be there. I plan to go back soon for the purpose of serving my community, not for community service. Miss Maymie, an employee there said my mom and I were the best help she had! *Warm Fuzzies*
Finally, “The State’s Jewelry”….as it is often referred to, will cost a total of $1900. I am going to ask if I can bedazzle it, you know….glue on some rhinestones to make it chic because I don’t know about you, but if I am going to pay $1900 for a bracelet I’d at least like to have some bling (even if they are glued on rhinestones). In order for this little GEM to work properly, we had to have a home phone line installed (really? WHO has a home phone line these days??? ….WE DO!). I will get a modem with my bracelet that I will hook up to daily  that  will register all kinds of data so they will know I haven’t been doing anything I shouldn’t….I’m still not entirely sure of what all that entails, but I am sure I will find out….and so will you!
Until then, I am preparing a list of questions to ask them when I get my fancy shmancy bracelet put on (I like to say “put on” rather than “installed”….INSTALLED sounds like they are going to do surgery)…..

    THIS WAS ONE EXPENSIVE LESSON TO LEARN, YALL!!Countdown continues…..4 Days, 11 Minutes